Web Letters | The Nation

A rape victim speaks out

I came across this on a friend’s Facebook in response to your article. Very touching and moving response.

As a victim of repeated rapes over the span of my last two years in high school, the tragedy reported in this article makes me sick to the stomach. It is a deep, dark hole that women are shoved into following sexual assault.

I was never intoxicated, I was never violently attacked, I was never inappropriately dressed, but I most definitely was unwilling. Each and every time I said no, it was rape. Each and every time, it cut deeper. Unprecedented thoughts of suicide raced through my mind. I was lost and felt hopeless. I felt strangled by a world I no longer knew or understood.

Somehow, through the love and support of my friends and family, I’ve made it to a place where I’m happy, successful, and proud of myself. If you’d asked me six years ago if I felt any of those things, the answer would be an unquestionable no.

I didn’t fight back. I didn’t report it to the police or anyone else. I accepted it and in doing so gave the guy the impression that it was okay, that it was all right to violate me again and again. I don’t want this post to be an attack on him (long ago I found it in myself to forgive him for the pain he caused me). I want this post to send a very clear message.

Rape is never okay and it is never the woman’s fault.

To the women who have suffered: Rape does not define you. Do not let it control or limit you. Search out the love and support of those around you. Believe in yourself. Love yourself. Most of all… do not blame yourself.