An Inaugural Address for Herman Cain

An Inaugural Address for Herman Cain

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In April, we’ll all be in clover—
All spending bucks we’ve got left over,
With 9-9-9.

To working folks we’ll bring enjoyment,
’Cause we’ll have nearly full employment,
With 9-9-9.

Our air will be pristine and clear,
And terrorists will disappear,
With 9-9-9.

And scientists will find the answer
That gives the world a cure for cancer,
With 9-9-9.

We’ll all achieve what we endeavor,
And all of us will live forever,
With 9-9-9.

A country that now seems depressed and limp’ll
Be great again if we just keep things simple.

Support independent journalism that does not fall in line

Even before February 28, the reasons for Donald Trump’s imploding approval rating were abundantly clear: untrammeled corruption and personal enrichment to the tune of billions of dollars during an affordability crisis, a foreign policy guided only by his own derelict sense of morality, and the deployment of a murderous campaign of occupation, detention, and deportation on American streets. 

Now an undeclared, unauthorized, unpopular, and unconstitutional war of aggression against Iran has spread like wildfire through the region and into Europe. A new “forever war”—with an ever-increasing likelihood of American troops on the ground—may very well be upon us.  

As we’ve seen over and over, this administration uses lies, misdirection, and attempts to flood the zone to justify its abuses of power at home and abroad. Just as Trump, Marco Rubio, and Pete Hegseth offer erratic and contradictory rationales for the attacks on Iran, the administration is also spreading the lie that the upcoming midterm elections are under threat from noncitizens on voter rolls. When these lies go unchecked, they become the basis for further authoritarian encroachment and war. 

In these dark times, independent journalism is uniquely able to uncover the falsehoods that threaten our republic—and civilians around the world—and shine a bright light on the truth. 

The Nation’s experienced team of writers, editors, and fact-checkers understands the scale of what we’re up against and the urgency with which we have to act. That’s why we’re publishing critical reporting and analysis of the war on Iran, ICE violence at home, new forms of voter suppression emerging in the courts, and much more. 

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