Saturday’s No Kings! demonstrations are tomorrow and I will be at the San Francisco march, screaming my head off. As Barbara Ehrenreich said, it feels good to get together with other people and yell! So c’mon, everybody, show up, and do the same—if the spirit so moves you. Jump up and down if you’re hopping mad. Link arms and kick. If you don’t want to scream your head off, maybe you want to dance your ass off. Or maybe you just want to amble along enjoying all the funny and sarcastic signs and, I guarantee it, some fascinating people-watching. You and your squad can decide on your personal thumb-ups for best sign, chant, face paint or costume. Have fun! Or, as we say in California, “Have a great day!”

But as important as what you do is what you won’t do. Please, as the kindergarten teachers say, keep your hands to yourself. No violence! No shoving of officers, and no assaulting counterprotesters! No pushing, no pulling them off their bikes or the curb. No spitting, no kicking, no throwing your sign, nor, need I mention, your sandwich. The slightest touch by a person or a hurled object can be assault under the law. Control yourself! As much as you may long to punch a fascist, this is not the time.

Why? Well, friends, first, because the hard-working organizers have asked you to play it their way: Indivisible, for example, states that their commitment to nonviolence is “not just a moral stance, it’s a strategic one,” and fundamental to their organizing. So, what part of “non” don’t you understand?

And their aim makes sense. More millions of people will show up for this and future demonstrations if they don’t fear getting hurt or being pulled into a melee of any kind. Most of us don’t want to be associated with impetuous rule-breakers who wreck the vibe and draw attention to themselves. These marches should be safe, for example, for people with wheels… as in wheelchairs or in baby buggies. So no, dear comrades, it’s not OK to wait till dark and then start spray-painting and breaking windows. You will ruin our reputation behind our backs while we have gone to get drinks or headed home to put the children to bed. Thanks, but no thanks for your ungoverned passion.

Trump has sought to characterize protests as evidence of a widespread left-wing conspiracy to carry out political violence, even painting protesters as “domestic terrorists” and lying about things like ICE protests and whether Portland is burning to the ground. Speaker Mike Johnson says “they have a ‘Hate America’ rally that’s scheduled for Oct. 18…. It’s all the pro-Hamas wing and the antifa people, they’re all coming out.” And “I’ve had it with these people.” They dream and scheme about an excuse to enable the Insurrection Act to brutally crack down on us.

But tomorrow, the whole world will be watching, and we will be demonstrating that we are a lawful and peaceful multitude, capturing national and world attention as mainstream Americans. We will be creating the visuals for the global media showing that most of us clearly see what’s been going down with wannabe King Trump and his enablers, and we are going to vote the scoundrels out, first chance we get—if we have fair elections. (If not, it’s a new situation, but let’s cross that bridge if we come to it.)

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November 2026 Issue

Here’s hoping we never get to that bridge. Everyone has heard of the 3.5 percent rule, right? Studies suggest that if just 3.5 percent of a national population actively protests, authoritarians fall. The numbers are critical. Some analysts say we almost reached 2 percent in the last No Kings demos. What will our numbers be tomorrow?

But any physical aggression from us (as opposed to legitimate, lawful self-defense) can mar the results. Even small incidents invite right-wing retaliation, and for state forces to clamp down—with extreme violence. Don’t forget they have most of the guns, as well as the National Guard and the jails. It’s not smart to throw a clenched fist in a gunfight.

So leave any aggravating counterprotesters and provocateurs alone. Shrug them off; they are so uncool and sadly brainwashed. Feel sorry for them, if that helps. Cool it. Chillax. Think of Dr. Martin Luther King and Gandhi, all they and their followers endured. Be strong.

De-escalate conflict if you see an ally getting hot. Go to the designated, trained safety personnel in their bright vests for help with that, or if you are confronted by a troublemaker of any stripe. Stand up for your rights. We have a right to march united and unmolested. And as Robert Reich says, “solidarity breeds courage.”

So go, and enjoy the parade, the music, the unity, the defiant display! Collective joy, as Ehrenreich called it, is the best antidote to depression and cynicism. Humor and satire are the best weapons against any opponent, especially enemies of free speech. That’s why South Park and the late-night comedians are so great. I hope to see some Portland protest blow-up frogs and other dancing beasts. Use your signs, T-shirts, and voices to ridicule and insult and laugh at our opponents to your heart’s content. Be clever. Be loud. Just, may I say it one more time? Don’t touch them. Ugh, why would you?