According to two senior Church of England bishops, recent terrible floods in the UK are expressions of God’s wrath at excess consumption — or possibly excess gayfriendliness. “We have a responsibility in this and God is exposing us to the truth of what we have done,” the Rt. Rev .James Jones, bishop of Liverpool, told The Telegraph .

“We are reaping the consequences of our moral degradation, as well as the environmental damage that we have caused.” said the Rt. Rev. Graham Dow, bishop of Carlisle. “The sexual orientation regulations [which give greater rights to gays] are part of a general scene of permissiveness. We are in a situation where we are liable for God’s judgment, which is intended to call us to repentance.” According to the Telegraph, Dow ” expressed his sympathy for those who have been hit by the weather, but said that the problem with ‘environmental judgment is that it is indiscriminate.'”

Now just hold on a minute here. God left thousands of innocent Britons homeless– to say nothing of other recent flood victims from Texas to Pakistan — to make a point about something those people had nothing to do with? A point no one, except a handful of clergymen, seemed to get? If God is powerful enough to cause floods, why isn’t he powerful enough to target his smitings to, say, the annual meeting of Exxon shareholders or Friends of the Incandescent Light Bulb? Surely God is aware that environmental catastrophes hit the most vulnerable hardest. The CEOs and superconsumers in their 4000-square-foot mansions have insurance, to say nothing of Hummers in which to make a quick escape to their condo in the city.

As for the gay thing, if a human being somehow managed to flood whole neighborhoods, destroying the lives of multitudes, and when asked why replied that he was furious, just furious, at growing tolerance for homosexuality, we would think he was insane. And he would be.

So maybe God exists, but is clinically mad. That would explain just about everything.