Hockey Mom: But ref, there’s no way that’s a goal that he made. Remember that spitball that in second grade Caromed off the teacher’s nose? This little bird Was close with the thrower, or that’s what I heard.

Referee: The puck’s in the net, and when that’s where it lands, The only call possible’s “Johnny’s goal stands.”

Hockey Mom: They rode the same school bus, he and that thug. So don’t get misled by this kid’s pretty mug. The puck’s in the net–at least somewhere near it? It still wouldn’t count. He’s got no school spirit.

Referee: The puck’s in the net, and when that’s where it lands, The only call possible’s “Johnny’s goal stands.”

Hockey Mom: That Johnny’s not from here. He transferred. Remember? His mother is foreign, and she’s not a member Of one of our churches. So what’s to discuss? I’ve just said he’s foreign. He isn’t like us.

Referee: Go sit down, lady.