The middle names we have are, as a rule,
Obscure, pretentious, odd or just not cool.
So someone named John Bloomingblaise McGill
Will say, “Just call me John.” And most folks will.
Or even Jack. To them it’s all the same.
But get impeached, they’ll use that middle name.

No matter if it’s Braithwaite, say, or Percy.
They’re likely to repeat it without mercy.
The talking heads will spread it wide and far,
And sound more pompous even than they are.

So run, you guys named Tom or Bob or Mike.
And if you win, do anything you like.
Yes, you can stray or lie or cheat or steal,
Or you can undermine the public weal.
Remember, though, before you touch that dame,
If you’re impeached, they’ll use your middle name.