Second Thoughts Second Thoughts
So what was the matter with Kasich?
And what was so bad about Dole?
And why did we sour on poor Gary Bauer
And find naught in Hatch to extol?
Mar 22, 2000 / Column / Calvin Trillin
The Outcome of the Primaries The Outcome of the Primaries
So after the excitement fades,
We end up with the norm:
Both candidates are regulars
Who say they're for reform.
Mar 16, 2000 / Column / Calvin Trillin
A Robertson Republican A Robertson Republican
(A Gilbert and Sullivan Solo for George W. Bush)
Mar 9, 2000 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Bush Family Conversations on Retaking the White House Bush Family Conversations on Retaking the White House
The first son seemed anointed, then
The tide began to ebb.
Did anybody ever ask,
"So could we bring in Jeb?"
Mar 2, 2000 / Column / Calvin Trillin
A Theological Analysis of the South Carolina Primary A Theological Analysis of the South Carolina Primary
In Kennebunk, land of the Bushes,
The men of the cloth all wore tweed.
And one didn't meet any Christians
Like Robertson, Falwell and Reed.
Feb 23, 2000 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Farewell, Steve Forbes Farewell, Steve Forbes
We mutter adieu now to Steve,
Who finally decided to leave.
We thought he might never be done
With buying his place in the sun.
Feb 16, 2000 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Farewell, Gary Bauer Farewell, Gary Bauer
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Farewell, adieu to Gary Bauer.
We never thought that you'd be our
Next President. Too small. Too sour.
The countryside we'd have to scour
Feb 10, 2000 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Orrin Hatch Ends Whatever It Was Orrin Hatch Ends Whatever It Was
The Orrin Hatch campaign is done--
Kaput at last, without a doubt.
And now, perhaps, could someone please
Explain what that was all about?
Feb 3, 2000 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Old King Kohl, or A Very Fine Fiddle Had He Old King Kohl, or A Very Fine Fiddle Had He
(With apologies, under the table, to Mother Goose)
Jan 27, 2000 / Column / Calvin Trillin
The Russians in Chechnya The Russians in Chechnya
It seems so familiar to me:
They know one more tank, one more gun'll
Allow best and brightest to see
The light at the end of the tunnel.
Jan 20, 2000 / Column / Calvin Trillin