Trump Bump Trump Bump
His real estate is in a slump And wifey's proving hard to dump And everyone he called a chump Would like to see him on his rump.
Oct 28, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin
A Family Dynamics Analysis of Elizabeth Dole’s Withdrawal A Family Dynamics Analysis of Elizabeth Dole’s Withdrawal
Though Bob has said he's giddy over Liddy, He didn't do a lot to help her, did he.
Oct 28, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Thoughts About Kenneth Starr as He Leaves Office Thoughts About Kenneth Starr as He Leaves Office
Some ask, “Is there a more self-righteous man?” Or “Was he really out for Clinton’s blood?” Some citizens are left with only this: “Amazing how…
Oct 21, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin
More Nixon Tapes Released More Nixon Tapes Released
Among his more peculiar views, He thought all Communists were Jews. Historians must ponder how He managed to account for Mao.
Oct 14, 1999 / Books & the Arts / Calvin Trillin
On Gary Bauer’s Announcement That He Is Not Having an Affair With a Young Staff Member On Gary Bauer’s Announcement That He Is Not Having an Affair With a Young Staff Member
Could we have thought that Gary Bauer Would trifle with, perhaps deflower, A youngish person not at all his bride? Could we believe this stern avower
Oct 7, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Adieu, Dan Quayle Adieu, Dan Quayle
Farewell, once more, J. Danforth Quayle. Although we know it's sad to fail, Remember, you were once obscure-- Considered lightweight, immature.
Sep 30, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin
A Demographic Analysis of the Reform Party A Demographic Analysis of the Reform Party
This party's what diversity is all about: There's no variety of wacko that's left out.
Sep 23, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin
George W. Bush’s Education Plan George W. Bush’s Education Plan
A public school whose students don't test well Would lose some funds unless its score improves. If cutting funds won't help the kids advance,
Sep 16, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin
On the Possibility That Pat Buchanan Will Run as a Third-Party Candidate On the Possibility That Pat Buchanan Will Run as a Third-Party Candidate
Buchanan hints he's leaving. The GOP says, "Stay!" They fear that he'd be draining The wacko vote away.
Sep 9, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin
The Rest of Them Are Clean The Rest of Them Are Clean
Elizabeth Dole won't break the law. McCain has scored no coke. The thought of Hatch with smack or crack Is palpably baroque.
Sep 2, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin