I’m Counting My Heart Out for You I’m Counting My Heart Out for You
(Lyrics found on a table inside a state building in Miami-Dade County) I'm counting my heart out for you. The votes I am finding are few. We hear the mob right in the h...
Nov 30, 2000 / Column / Calvin Trillin
The Vietnam Peace The Vietnam Peace
The President has gone to Vietnam, A smallish country that we used to bomb But now would like to send our products to. And so our corporations take the view That if the count...
Nov 27, 2000 / Column / Calvin Trillin
A Day in the Life of the Palm Beach County Recount A Day in the Life of the Palm Beach County Recount
While Bush says counting votes by hand's unfair,
Gore gains--a bubbe here, a zayde there.
Nov 16, 2000 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Rare Good News Rare Good News
The Journal of Nutrition wrote about Some researchers who tested chocolate out. It may help stave off heart attacks, they claim. Red wine, we've known for years, can do the sa...
Nov 10, 2000 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Nader Voters: An Explanation Nader Voters: An Explanation
They thought they'd vote the Democratic slate,
But somehow felt they needed something more.
They finally found a candidate who was
More sanctimonious than Albert Gore.
Nov 2, 2000 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Whose Side’s Jesus On? Whose Side’s Jesus On?
Gore says he prays when crises loom. He asks just what would Jesus do. And then he does that very thing (If focus groups would do it too). So whose side's Jesus on, fol...
Oct 26, 2000 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Trick or Treat Trick or Treat
The voters hear on Halloween
The country's doorbell ring.
There's Bush dressed up as real adult
And Gore as human being.
Oct 19, 2000 / Column / Calvin Trillin
On the Events in Serbia On the Events in Serbia
It took them thirteen years to ditch
Old Slobodan Milosevic.
Now people see a new day dawn,
But notice that he's still not gone.
Oct 12, 2000 / Column / Calvin Trillin
On the Fading of the Euro Dream On the Fading of the Euro Dream
Momentum for the euro wanes. The krone is preferred by Danes. And recent surveys all have found That British voters love their pound. But, seeing this through New World eyes,...
Oct 5, 2000 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Newt, Still Newt, Still
When he was king, the Democrats Saw Newt as all that's rotten. Though he's long gone, they're making sure He doesn't get forgotten. On every ad, they talk of Newt's ...
Sep 28, 2000 / Column / Calvin Trillin