So what was the matter with Kasich?
And what was so bad about Dole?
And why did we sour on poor Gary Bauer
And find naught in Hatch to extol?

And what was the problem with Gephardt?
And why did we seem to ignore
The Democrats who, at least in their view,
Were credible options to Gore?

With options now gone for both parties,
The winners don’t hold us in thrall.
We’re now sighing sighs that these are the guys
We’re stuck with for good in the fall.