(A Gilbert and Sullivan Solo for George W. Bush)

Though folks in Texas are diverse, I knew I could unite them all.
Endorsements came from blacks and girls; I’d happily recite them all.
I’ve sympathy for everyone (I bleed a lot for Texaco).
I really can’t be prejudiced: My sister-in-law’s from Mexico.
Though I was real compassionate–at least that is the tale we spun–
I am, when all is said and done, a Robertson Republican.

Chorus:
He is, when all is said and done, a Robertson Republican.

I needed Pat to smear McCain as baby-killer and profane,
Or smite him with a hurricane, so I could win this one campaign.
And Falwell, too, was fine, I felt. So I, to smash my rival, dealt
With guys who really raise a welt with cheap shots from the Bible Belt.
I am a onetime lap dog’s son, so it may not strike anyone
As odd that I’m content to run as one who’s to the left of none–a Robertson Republican.

Chorus:
He is a onetime lap dog’s son, so it may not strike anyone
As odd that he’s content to run as one who’s to the left of none–a Robertson Republican.