Well, John, it’s nice to have you back again.
Your colleagues all paid close attention when
You cast all those aspersions on this house.
It’s nice to have you back again (you louse).

Well, John, it’s nice that you have now returned
From leading your crusade–from which we’ve learned
Contributors are those to whom we cater.
It’s nice to have you back again (you traitor).

Well, John, we’re truly glad to see your face.
A pity that you didn’t win your race,
But purity is better, so they say.
So welcome back. We must have lunch someday.