Welcome Out, Amy Fisher Welcome Out, Amy Fisher
We welcome out Ms. Amy Fisher And all of us sincerely wish her Success in any field she might embrace. We hope that she'll avoid the showy,
May 20, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin
The United States Makes a Conditional Apology to China The United States Makes a Conditional Apology to China
A pity that our missiles went astray-- The kind of act we'd make a tort of. Sincerely, USA would like to say We're really very sorry, sort of.
May 13, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Slobo in Prayer Slobo in Prayer
So Slobodan said prayers with Jesse. But prayed for what? Who knows? I'd guess he Would say, "So stop the bombs!" and then amens. Except when bombs no longer shower
May 6, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Another Candidate Announces Another Candidate Announces
Republicans seem rather sour About the run of Gary Bauer. But Democrats are glad to greet The one opponent Gore might beat.
Apr 29, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Wherefore Al Gore? Wherefore Al Gore?
They're asking now, "Wherefore Al Gore?" They're thinking now, "Should we explore A few alternatives before We find too late we've bet the store
Apr 21, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Battle Hymn Battle Hymn
We're bombing you back to the Stone Age, Slobo, To teach you that you must behave. When all of our bombing is finished, Slobo,
Apr 15, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Enter Steve Forbes Enter Steve Forbes
In '96 poor Forbes was thought To be less zealous than he ought To be on things like baby-killing. So now he's showing that he's willing
Apr 1, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Enter Mrs. Dole Enter Mrs. Dole
Elizabeth Dole is all perfection. She shoots one take, without exception. She drives her staff so no step's spared To get an ad-libbed speech prepared.
Mar 18, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Paving the Way Paving the Way
Since you weren't bent all out of shape By hearing Bill accused of rape, It's now assumed that it won't trouble you To hear some dirt about George W.
Mar 11, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin
On the Dismissal of Ken Bode On the Dismissal of Ken Bode
'Cause Washington Week in Review Had made insufficient ado, A jazzy new boss Gave Bode the toss, Not knowing a storm would ensue.
Mar 4, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin