Admiration From Afar Admiration From Afar
They like the way he's not afraid to say
That money lets the fat cats get their way.
They like his style, the fact he doesn't pander.
Nov 4, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Trump Bump Trump Bump
His real estate is in a slump
And wifey's proving hard to dump
And everyone he called a chump
Would like to see him on his rump.
Oct 28, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin
A Family Dynamics Analysis of Elizabeth Dole’s Withdrawal A Family Dynamics Analysis of Elizabeth Dole’s Withdrawal
Though Bob has said he's giddy over Liddy,
He didn't do a lot to help her, did he.
Oct 28, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Thoughts About Kenneth Starr as He Leaves Office Thoughts About Kenneth Starr as He Leaves Office
Some ask, “Is there a more self-righteous man?” Or “Was he really out for Clinton’s blood?” Some citizens are left with only this: “Amazing how…
Oct 21, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin
More Nixon Tapes Released More Nixon Tapes Released
Among his more peculiar views,
He thought all Communists were Jews.
Historians must ponder how
He managed to account for Mao.
Oct 14, 1999 / Books & the Arts / Calvin Trillin
On Gary Bauer’s Announcement That He Is Not Having an Affair With a Young Staff Member On Gary Bauer’s Announcement That He Is Not Having an Affair With a Young Staff Member
Could we have thought that Gary Bauer
Would trifle with, perhaps deflower,
A youngish person not at all his bride?
Could we believe this stern avower
Oct 7, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Adieu, Dan Quayle Adieu, Dan Quayle
Farewell, once more, J. Danforth Quayle.
Although we know it's sad to fail,
Remember, you were once obscure--
Considered lightweight, immature.
Sep 30, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin
A Demographic Analysis of the Reform Party A Demographic Analysis of the Reform Party
This party's what diversity is all about:
There's no variety of wacko that's left out.
Sep 23, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin
George W. Bush’s Education Plan George W. Bush’s Education Plan
A public school whose students don't test well
Would lose some funds unless its score improves.
If cutting funds won't help the kids advance,
Sep 16, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin
On the Possibility That Pat Buchanan Will Run as a Third-Party Candidate On the Possibility That Pat Buchanan Will Run as a Third-Party Candidate
Buchanan hints he's leaving.
The GOP says, "Stay!"
They fear that he'd be draining
The wacko vote away.
Sep 9, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin