Is it the eight titanium pins
around my knees or the fact
that for three months
the incisions were left open? I grew
to know that plush of inside—
the velvets, the iodine to prevent infection,
the smooth of body cast
like another girl who was exactly
my shape, but calmer than I would ever be.
She lay still, barely shifting, like a vase holding a flower,
which was me with my hot dangers, my
In the myth, the girl who is Spring only gets her
power when she chooses the mask of bone.
I did not want the world to be this way.
For weeks, I stared at the dull view out the window
of alleys in moonlight, a few sunken garages,
a dirty-white cat. I stared until these things
became beautiful again.
Something closed inside me, which glinted
like a sharp bright pin.