Waste My Life

Waste My Life

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sleep, boredom, gossip, cruelty
imaginary feuds and small resentments
various, complex plans that amount to nothing
at some point, every poet has to admit art is just a distraction from the boredom of life

every morning I get dressed
and I walk past the road outside the Salvation Army
overflowing with toys and clothes and plastic crap
I think they probably deserve it for being so explicitly homophobic in their core organizational values

I work all day in a bookshop
each night when I come home
it’s dark, and the rain is falling
covering the world in black diamonds
some days I feel so deep inside my life I don’t think I’ll ever get out again

I never read the Russians but I have read most of the Babysitters Club
I can’t remember the meaning of poetry
other than it’s a broken telephone
with which to call the dead
and tell them a joke

life is great
it’s like being given a rare and historically significant flute
and using it to beat a harmless old man to death with

I used to think the more something hurt, the more meaningful it was
but I never learned anything useful from pain
I just drank a bottle of wine and tried to fall asleep
when you’re unhappy you can’t think
pain is just boredom with the stars turned up

there’s not much I like in this world
I’m always walking away too early in a conversation and having to yell apologetically back over my shoulder

I don’t think good art comes from happiness either
but who said good art was the point

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