(The saddest leave-taking since Max left the Wild Things)

“Don’t go!” all the poliwonks started to croon.
“What other Republican dared to harpoon
The Mittster for being a heartless tycoon?
Who’s left to start planning a town on the moon,
As if he had stepped from the pages of Dune?
Who never did hesitate once to impugn
The press—his best foil—when it seemed opportune?
Oh why, Newt, oh why must you leave us so soon?”
But Newt, though quite portly, as well as jejune,
Just floated away, like a hot air balloon.