(A Republican version of “Brush Up Your Shakespeare,” from Kiss Me, Kate)

Cut, cap and balance.
Just turn off the tap.
Cut, cap and balance.
Shut that purse up with a snap.

Let’s cut wasteful programs in bunches—
Like research and poor kids’ school lunches.
All life is not really a fed affair,
So let’s take a scalpel to Medicare.
’Cause if rich people pay less in taxes
We’ll still whip that Evil old Axis.
All citizens will be in clover
If we just heed the teaching of Grover.
Cut, cap and balance.
Balance, cut and cap.