The Wreck of the Primary Campaign The Wreck of the Primary Campaign
(A Republican Sea Chantey)
Jul 8, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin
On Rumors of a Plea Deal for Webster Hubbell On Rumors of a Plea Deal for Webster Hubbell
If Webster Hubbell
Is out of trouble,
The end for Starr
Cannot be far.
We hope these guys
Live peaceful lives
With little fuss--
Jul 1, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Advise and Consent Advise and Consent
So Holbrooke says he's sorry, though for what is not quite clear.
And Helms now says that Dick will get the post.
An envoy must do many deeds to forge a bright career.
Jun 24, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin
The Strategy of the Other Republican Presidential Candidates The Strategy of the Other Republican Presidential Candidates
Completely confident, they know that--fair
And square, on issues--they'll defeat George Bush.
But still, where is that famous picture where
Jun 17, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Progress in the Kosovo Talks Progress in the Kosovo Talks
Could settlement and peace both come before
Young Bush finds a position on the war?
Jun 10, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Wall Street Analysts Do a Cautious Reassessment of Technology Offerings Wall Street Analysts Do a Cautious Reassessment of Technology Offerings
Perhaps one shouldn't simply glom
On any stock that ends ".com"--
Except it's hard to tell just which
Of them will make you filthy rich.
Jun 3, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Post-Littleton Gun Vote in the Senate Post-Littleton Gun Vote in the Senate
When guns became the issue of the day,
Republicans, as is their custom, put
Their party right behind the NRA,
And shot themselves quite badly in the foot.
May 27, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Welcome Out, Amy Fisher Welcome Out, Amy Fisher
We welcome out Ms. Amy Fisher
And all of us sincerely wish her
Success in any field she might embrace.
We hope that she'll avoid the showy,
May 20, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin
The United States Makes a Conditional Apology to China The United States Makes a Conditional Apology to China
A pity that our missiles went astray--
The kind of act we'd make a tort of.
Sincerely, USA would like to say
We're really very sorry, sort of.
May 13, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Slobo in Prayer Slobo in Prayer
So Slobodan said prayers with Jesse.
But prayed for what? Who knows? I'd guess he
Would say, "So stop the bombs!" and then amens.
Except when bombs no longer shower
May 6, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin