The Rest of Them Are Clean The Rest of Them Are Clean
Elizabeth Dole won't break the law.
McCain has scored no coke.
The thought of Hatch with smack or crack
Is palpably baroque.
Sep 2, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin
A Word of Sympathy for Candidates Who Did Not Do Well in the Ames Voting A Word of Sympathy for Candidates Who Did Not Do Well in the Ames Voting
It really would stick in the craw
To find that you had to withdraw
From such a big race
For not keeping pace
In a poll that was nothing but straw.
Aug 19, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Not for Me Not for Me
I think I'd rather not belong
At this point to the Falun Gong.
The exercises don't look easy,
And doing them might make me queasy
Aug 5, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Remembering the 1993 Healthcare Debate While Listening to the 1999 Healthcare Debate Remembering the 1993 Healthcare Debate While Listening to the 1999 Healthcare Debate
The single-payer system, it was said,
Has faults that go beyond the fact it's Red:
If any faceless bureaucrat decreed
That surgery the doctor says you need
Jul 22, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin
The Wreck of the Primary Campaign The Wreck of the Primary Campaign
(A Republican Sea Chantey)
Jul 8, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin
On Rumors of a Plea Deal for Webster Hubbell On Rumors of a Plea Deal for Webster Hubbell
If Webster Hubbell
Is out of trouble,
The end for Starr
Cannot be far.
We hope these guys
Live peaceful lives
With little fuss--
Jul 1, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Advise and Consent Advise and Consent
So Holbrooke says he's sorry, though for what is not quite clear.
And Helms now says that Dick will get the post.
An envoy must do many deeds to forge a bright career.
Jun 24, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin
The Strategy of the Other Republican Presidential Candidates The Strategy of the Other Republican Presidential Candidates
Completely confident, they know that--fair
And square, on issues--they'll defeat George Bush.
But still, where is that famous picture where
Jun 17, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Progress in the Kosovo Talks Progress in the Kosovo Talks
Could settlement and peace both come before
Young Bush finds a position on the war?
Jun 10, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Wall Street Analysts Do a Cautious Reassessment of Technology Offerings Wall Street Analysts Do a Cautious Reassessment of Technology Offerings
Perhaps one shouldn't simply glom
On any stock that ends ".com"--
Except it's hard to tell just which
Of them will make you filthy rich.
Jun 3, 1999 / Column / Calvin Trillin