Calvin Trillin, the author of Random House’s Deciding the Next Decider: The 2008 Presidential Election in Rhyme, is The Nation’s “deadline poet.” He has been acclaimed in fields of writing that are remarkably diverse. As someone who has published solidly reported pieces in The New Yorker for 40 years, he has been called “perhaps the finest reporter in America.” His wry commentary on the American scene and his books chronicling his adventures as a “happy eater” have earned him renown as “a classic American humorist.” His About Alice—a 2007 New York Times bestseller that was hailed as “a miniature masterpiece”—followed two other best-selling memoirs, Remembering Denny and Messages from My Father.
Completely confident, they know that--fair
And square, on issues--they'll defeat George Bush.
But still, where is that famous picture where
Perhaps one shouldn't simply glom
On any stock that ends ".com"--
Except it's hard to tell just which
Of them will make you filthy rich.
A pity that our missiles went astray--
The kind of act we'd make a tort of.
Sincerely, USA would like to say
We're really very sorry, sort of.