Calvin Trillin

Verse Columnist

Calvin Trillin, the author of Random House’s Deciding the Next Decider: The 2008 Presidential Election in Rhyme, is The Nation’s “deadline poet.” He has been acclaimed in fields of writing that are remarkably diverse. As someone who has published solidly reported pieces in The New Yorker for 40 years, he has been called “perhaps the finest reporter in America.” His wry commentary on the American scene and his books chronicling his adventures as a “happy eater” have earned him renown as “a classic American humorist.” His About Alice—a 2007 New York Times bestseller that was hailed as “a miniature masterpiece”—followed two other best-selling memoirs, Remembering Denny and Messages from My Father.

Election 2000July 8, 1999

The Wreck of the Primary Campaign

(A Republican Sea Chantey)

Calvin Trillin
PoliticsJuly 1, 1999

On Rumors of a Plea Deal for Webster Hubbell

If Webster Hubbell
Is out of trouble,
The end for Starr
Cannot be far.
We hope these guys
Live peaceful lives
With little fuss--

Calvin Trillin
PoliticsJune 24, 1999

Advise and Consent

So Holbrooke says he's sorry, though for what is not quite clear.
And Helms now says that Dick will get the post.
An envoy must do many deeds to forge a bright career.

Calvin Trillin
Election 2000June 17, 1999

The Strategy of the Other Republican Presidential Candidates

Completely confident, they know that--fair
And square, on issues--they'll defeat George Bush.
But still, where is that famous picture where

Calvin Trillin
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Political FiguresJune 10, 1999

Progress in the Kosovo Talks

Could settlement and peace both come before
Young Bush finds a position on the war?

Calvin Trillin
BusinessJune 3, 1999

Wall Street Analysts Do a Cautious Reassessment of Technology Offerings

Perhaps one shouldn't simply glom
On any stock that ends ".com"--
Except it's hard to tell just which
Of them will make you filthy rich.

Calvin Trillin
Guns and Gun ControlMay 27, 1999

Post-Littleton Gun Vote in the Senate

When guns became the issue of the day,
Republicans, as is their custom, put
Their party right behind the NRA,
And shot themselves quite badly in the foot.

Calvin Trillin
PoliticsMay 20, 1999

Welcome Out, Amy Fisher

We welcome out Ms. Amy Fisher
And all of us sincerely wish her
Success in any field she might embrace.
We hope that she'll avoid the showy,

Calvin Trillin
Regions and CountriesMay 13, 1999

The United States Makes a Conditional Apology to China

A pity that our missiles went astray--
The kind of act we'd make a tort of.
Sincerely, USA would like to say
We're really very sorry, sort of.

Calvin Trillin
Global OrganizationsMay 6, 1999

Slobo in Prayer

So Slobodan said prayers with Jesse.
But prayed for what? Who knows? I'd guess he
Would say, "So stop the bombs!" and then amens.
Except when bombs no longer shower

Calvin Trillin

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Calvin Trillin

Verse Columnist

Election 2000July 8, 1999

(A Republican Sea Chantey)

PoliticsJuly 1, 1999

If Webster Hubbell Is out of trouble, The end for Starr Cannot be far. We hope these guys Live peaceful lives With little fuss--

PoliticsJune 24, 1999

So Holbrooke says he's sorry, though for what is not quite clear. And Helms now says that Dick will get the post. An envoy must do many deeds to forge a bright career.

Election 2000June 17, 1999

Completely confident, they know that--fair And square, on issues--they'll defeat George Bush. But still, where is that famous picture where

The stakes are higher now than ever. Get The Nation in your inbox.

Political FiguresJune 10, 1999

Could settlement and peace both come before Young Bush finds a position on the war?

BusinessJune 3, 1999

Perhaps one shouldn't simply glom On any stock that ends ".com"-- Except it's hard to tell just which Of them will make you filthy rich.

Guns and Gun ControlMay 27, 1999

When guns became the issue of the day, Republicans, as is their custom, put Their party right behind the NRA, And shot themselves quite badly in the foot.

PoliticsMay 20, 1999

We welcome out Ms. Amy Fisher And all of us sincerely wish her Success in any field she might embrace. We hope that she'll avoid the showy,

Regions and CountriesMay 13, 1999

A pity that our missiles went astray-- The kind of act we'd make a tort of. Sincerely, USA would like to say We're really very sorry, sort of.

Global OrganizationsMay 6, 1999

So Slobodan said prayers with Jesse. But prayed for what? Who knows? I'd guess he Would say, "So stop the bombs!" and then amens. Except when bombs no longer shower

If Webster Hubbell
Is out of trouble,
The end for Starr
Cannot be far.
We hope these guys
Live peaceful lives
With little fuss--

So Holbrooke says he's sorry, though for what is not quite clear.
And Helms now says that Dick will get the post.
An envoy must do many deeds to forge a bright career.

Completely confident, they know that--fair
And square, on issues--they'll defeat George Bush.
But still, where is that famous picture where

Could settlement and peace both come before
Young Bush finds a position on the war?

Perhaps one shouldn't simply glom
On any stock that ends ".com"--
Except it's hard to tell just which
Of them will make you filthy rich.

When guns became the issue of the day,
Republicans, as is their custom, put
Their party right behind the NRA,
And shot themselves quite badly in the foot.

We welcome out Ms. Amy Fisher
And all of us sincerely wish her
Success in any field she might embrace.
We hope that she'll avoid the showy,

A pity that our missiles went astray--
The kind of act we'd make a tort of.
Sincerely, USA would like to say
We're really very sorry, sort of.

So Slobodan said prayers with Jesse.
But prayed for what? Who knows? I'd guess he
Would say, "So stop the bombs!" and then amens.
Except when bombs no longer shower