Shelf Life Shelf Life
The Collected Writings of Joe Brainard.
Sep 5, 2012 / Books & the Arts / Barry Schwabsky
Calling In the Humanizer Man Calling In the Humanizer Man
Analysts say that Romney campaign strategists face the challenge of humanizing their candidate. —News reports They’d like it if this man the folks are seeing Resembled more an actual human being. For that he’d need some warmth and shmaltz and soul; Then he’d appear less plastic and more whole. So in their dreams of triumph they aspire To show that their guy bleeds and may perspire, This can be done at once, without delay: The Humanizer Man is on his way. Yes, any candidate with boardlike stiffness Can be adjusted with surprising swiftness. The Humanizer Man’s done this before. Though he fell short of loosening Al Gore, He’s had a host of triumphs in his day. So if Mitt’s men believe, to their dismay, Their man’s as human as a Charolais. No need to cry “¡Caramba!” or “Oy vey!” For everything is going to be OK. To give him hope you only have to say, “The Humanizer Man is on his way.”
Sep 5, 2012 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Ai Weiwei and the Art of Protest Ai Weiwei and the Art of Protest
The courageous Chinese dissident has always had an eye for the point where art and politics meet in performance.
Aug 29, 2012 / Books & the Arts / Danielle Allen
Medicare to the Forefront Medicare to the Forefront
Polls show that Medicare is now the third most vital issue of the campaign, and Paul Ryan’s plan to change it is unpopular with likely voters. —News reports Yes, any talk of Medicare Is almost guaranteed to scare A lot of voters everywhere. Though Medicare, in truth, has ne’er Been short of signs of wear and tear— Its funding source may need repair— Most folks are fierce in guarding their Entitlements, and they declare That any change would be unfair, Would cheat them out of their fair share. So politicians are aware There’s always risk in going there. They keep their distance from that snare. You cannot win the Croix de Guerre By meddling with Medicare. Your fate’s more likely to compare To agonizing mal de mer, A bad encounter with a bear, A trip to the electric chair. So talk of Medicare is rare, But Ryan’s put it in the air. And some Republicans despair.
Aug 29, 2012 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Pariahs’ Progress: On Isolationism Pariahs’ Progress: On Isolationism
For Christopher McKnight Nichols, isolationists were cultural cosmopolitans who distrusted the impact of empire.
Aug 29, 2012 / Books & the Arts / Jackson Lears
The Antagonist: On Lillian Hellman The Antagonist: On Lillian Hellman
How did Lillian Hellman become the archetype of hypocrisy?
Aug 29, 2012 / Books & the Arts / Victor Navasky
Scissor Work: On the Unintended Reformation Scissor Work: On the Unintended Reformation
Brad Gregory wants to upend how we think about the emergence of capitalism, secularism and individualism.
Aug 29, 2012 / Books & the Arts / Paula Findlen
Holiday Holiday
The ad for the American moment says, “Make today famous.” (That little nobody!) Bury her under the foundation. Rome did. Have her wear that seasonal affective collapse get up. Keep an eye- in-the-sky on it
Aug 29, 2012 / Books & the Arts / Rae Armantrout
‘Poem about My Rights’: Todd Akin, Meet June Jordan ‘Poem about My Rights’: Todd Akin, Meet June Jordan
Todd Akin, Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan all have me thinking of June Jordan’s great “Poem about My Rights.”
Aug 22, 2012 / Books & the Arts / Laura Flanders
Ayn Rand Ayn Rand
(Sung to the tune of “Blue Moon”) Paul Ryan has said that the writings of Ayn Rand were what inspired him to go into public life. —News reports Ayn Rand Because of you I’m now free. Because of what you have taught, I know it’s all about me. Ayn Rand You taught we should be ambitious, And strive to be avaricious, Since money’s truly delicious. And we shouldn’t share a nickel of this money With citizens who can’t prevail. The government is not the Easter Bunny. The poor are weaklings who deserved to fail. Ayn Rand Before you I was immobile But then you taught me to know That being selfish is noble.
Aug 22, 2012 / Column / Calvin Trillin