Calling In the Humanizer Man

Calling In the Humanizer Man


Analysts say that Romney campaign strategists face the challenge of
humanizing their candidate.     —News reports

They’d like it if this man the folks are seeing
Resembled more an actual human being.
For that he’d need some warmth and shmaltz and soul;
Then he’d appear less plastic and more whole.
So in their dreams of triumph they aspire
To show that their guy bleeds and may perspire,
This can be done at once, without delay:
The Humanizer Man is on his way.

Yes, any candidate with boardlike stiffness
Can be adjusted with surprising swiftness.
The Humanizer Man’s done this before.
Though he fell short of loosening Al Gore,
He’s had a host of triumphs in his day.
So if Mitt’s men believe, to their dismay,
Their man’s as human as a Charolais.
No need to cry “¡Caramba!” or “Oy vey!”
For everything is going to be OK.
To give him hope you only have to say,
“The Humanizer Man is on his way.”

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