Although he mortified himself, it’s true, By showing up at Falwell’s Wack Job U, And says that every effort should be made To guarantee reversing Roe v. Wade, The Christian right’s big mullahs make it plain They’re still not comfortable with John McCain.

And Giuliani’s heel is like Achilles’; Revolving fillies give the right the willies. His other heel is pretty much the same, Since bashing gays was never Rudy’s game. But now he hates abortion. From the start, He was, he says, opposed–deep in his heart.

Mitt Romney’s saying now he should have known A stem cell’s just a human, not quite grown. Gay marriage, which he used to think was good, Is now the sort of awful thing that should Be banned by an amendment he’d get passed To rid us of this evil plague at last.

A shelter full of lap dogs with one plea: “Oh, take me home! Oh, please! Oh, please pick me!”