Stop me if you’ve heard this one. Last week the Vice President’s lawyer, David Addington, argued that the VP didn’t have to catalogue his secret documents because his role as President of the Senate means he’s not really a part of the executive branch and therefore doesn’t have to abide by the laws governing it. After this led to late night mockery, Addington argued instead that Cheney doesn’t have to comply because both the president and the vice president are exempt from their own executive order.

In other words, Dick is saying to the Constitution what he said to Senator Leahy. (Hint: It begins with an "f.")

Normally, this would be the point where tragedy becomes farce and the entire country leans back and takes a bong hit for Jesus if it weren’t for the four-part Washington Post series on Cheney. The article tells the story of the leader of the Senate, who starts an unnecessary war for the purpose of consolidating unconstitutional powers and turning the republic into an empire, while at the same time seducing a vain younger man with anger issues to the dark side.

The details are captivating, chilling, and too numerous to go into now, but here’s the big surprise: [Spoiler Alert] Dick Cheney isn’t really Senator Palpatine; he’s actually the Emperor.