Appease Your Thirst

Appease Your Thirst


Two weeks ago, we asked readers of to submit new definitions for an updated Dictionary of Republicanisms. In that time, we’ve had hundreds of sharp and hilarious suggestions. We’ve also had the Secretary of Defense compare Iraq to Nazi Germany and Democrats who want a timeline for withdrawal to “appeasers,” which may require us to create a Republican Dictionary of Bad Historical Analogies. In the meantime, I’d like to appease your thirst for political satire by sharing some of the best submissions with you.

Adapting to win phr. 1. Cutting and Running from the rhetoric of Staying the Course while staying on the same losing course. [Yana Way]. 2. Strategy to fight them over here instead of over there; see October Surprise [Scott Urbanowski].

Birth pangs of a new Middle East phr. Condition that occurs three years after failing to pull out of Iraq in time [Steven Troccoli].

Cut and run phr. An unacceptable strategy for Iraq, but perfectly fine for New Orleans [Scott Urbanowski]

Death tax n. 1. The Paris Hilton tax; 2. The Lucky Sperm Tax [Steve Anderson]

Dieboldened adj. The swagger a politician has, even when he’s behind in the polls, when the voting machines are built by his cronies [Dennis Leroy Adair].

Nomentum n. Joe Lieberman [Julia Glahn]

No one could have foreseen phr. 1. That terrorists would use airplanes as missiles. 2. That Saddam did not possess WMD. 3. That the levees would fail. 4. That sectarian violence would erupt in Iraq. 5. All of the above [Jesse James Gilles]

Talibangelist n. A politician who uses 9/11 to justify faith-based policies [Jason Thompson].

Term limits n. Legal restrictions on the number of years corrupt Republican politicians can serve in jail; see Contract on America [Robert Hirst].

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