Farewell, Howard Dean Farewell, Howard Dean
A vote of thanks is due to Dr. Dean,
A comet on the presidential scene.
Once sure to win, he lost it all instead.
He made mistakes, but still it should be said
Feb 26, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
New (Sort of) Issue New (Sort of) Issue
Bush trotted out his whoppers with tranquillity,
Because the press responded with docility.
His goal was war. In order to fulfill it, he
Feb 19, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Saddam as a Gathering Threat Saddam as a Gathering Threat
So the weapons weren't there--so what, Bush says,
Saddam was a "gathering threat."
We were certainly right to start a war.
This threat simply had to be met.
Feb 12, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Explaining in His State of the Union Address… Explaining in His State of the Union Address…
...Why the United States Invaded and Occupied Another Country Without Provocation, George W. Bush Offers History His Version of 'Remember the Maine!'
Feb 5, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
A Response From Cloud Cuckoo Land to David Kay’s Departing, Weaponless A Response From Cloud Cuckoo Land to David Kay’s Departing, Weaponless
They'd said that David Kay would list
The weapons that the UN missed.
Now David Kay tells Bush and Blair
The weapons simply were not there.
Jan 29, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
On Paul O’Neill’s Revelation That the Bushmen Were Planning A War With Iraq From The Earliest Days of The Administration On Paul O’Neill’s Revelation That the Bushmen Were Planning A War With Iraq From The Earliest Days of The Administration
It now appears that they saw 9/11
As, even though not quite ordained in heaven
To punish godless sins allowed in bed
(As Falwell and Pat Robertson had said),
Jan 22, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Herein Ralph Nader’s Latest Rationale for Another Presidential Run Is Explained Without the Use of the Word ‘Cockamamie’ Herein Ralph Nader’s Latest Rationale for Another Presidential Run Is Explained Without the Use of the Word ‘Cockamamie’
It's easy to forget, but still true
That creepy guys have ego trips too.
Jan 15, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
On Winning the War and Losing the Alerts On Winning the War and Losing the Alerts
We're fighting terror in Iraq, Bush says,
So we won't have to fight these guys right here.
Then why the orange alerts and canceled flights
Jan 8, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Reaction in the Justice Department to Federal Appeals Court Ruling ‘War on Terrorism’ Detention Policies Unconstitutional Reaction in the Justice Department to Federal Appeals Court Ruling ‘War on Terrorism’ Detention Policies Unconstitutional
A right to counsel and a right to trial?
John Ashcroft wonders: How do you suppose
We'll save our freedoms and our way of life
If we start granting everybody those?
Dec 24, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Memo Memo
To: Commander, Coalition Forces
From: Karl Rove, Supreme Commander
Dec 18, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin