‘I’m an Old Cowhand,’ as Sung by George W. Bush ‘I’m an Old Cowhand,’ as Sung by George W. Bush
(With apologies to Johnny Mercer)
Mar 18, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
On Whether the Martha Stewart Guilty Verdict Carries Implications for Those Involved in Prewar Intelligence Gathering On Whether the Martha Stewart Guilty Verdict Carries Implications for Those Involved in Prewar Intelligence Gathering
When federal authorities come by, It's criminal if you concoct a lie. The Feds don't think that lies are okey-dokey. Will Chalabi, then, soon be in the pokey?
Mar 11, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
George W. Bush Speaks Out on Gay Marriage George W. Bush Speaks Out on Gay Marriage
He backs an amendment defining the vow Of marriage as being a guy and his frau, Lest civilization sink into a slough-- Which he says could happen. It isn't clear how.
Mar 4, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Farewell, Howard Dean Farewell, Howard Dean
A vote of thanks is due to Dr. Dean, A comet on the presidential scene. Once sure to win, he lost it all instead. He made mistakes, but still it should be said
Feb 26, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
New (Sort of) Issue New (Sort of) Issue
Bush trotted out his whoppers with tranquillity, Because the press responded with docility. His goal was war. In order to fulfill it, he
Feb 19, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Saddam as a Gathering Threat Saddam as a Gathering Threat
So the weapons weren't there--so what, Bush says, Saddam was a "gathering threat." We were certainly right to start a war. This threat simply had to be met.
Feb 12, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Explaining in His State of the Union Address… Explaining in His State of the Union Address…
...Why the United States Invaded and Occupied Another Country Without Provocation, George W. Bush Offers History His Version of 'Remember the Maine!'
Feb 5, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
A Response From Cloud Cuckoo Land to David Kay’s Departing, Weaponless A Response From Cloud Cuckoo Land to David Kay’s Departing, Weaponless
They'd said that David Kay would list The weapons that the UN missed. Now David Kay tells Bush and Blair The weapons simply were not there.
Jan 29, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
On Paul O’Neill’s Revelation That the Bushmen Were Planning A War With Iraq From The Earliest Days of The Administration On Paul O’Neill’s Revelation That the Bushmen Were Planning A War With Iraq From The Earliest Days of The Administration
It now appears that they saw 9/11 As, even though not quite ordained in heaven To punish godless sins allowed in bed (As Falwell and Pat Robertson had said),
Jan 22, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Herein Ralph Nader’s Latest Rationale for Another Presidential Run Is Explained Without the Use of the Word ‘Cockamamie’ Herein Ralph Nader’s Latest Rationale for Another Presidential Run Is Explained Without the Use of the Word ‘Cockamamie’
It's easy to forget, but still true That creepy guys have ego trips too.
Jan 15, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin