On the Revelation of William Bennett’s Gambling Habit On the Revelation of William Bennett’s Gambling Habit
Bill Bennett told a grateful nation, "Be moral. Just resist temptation." By windbag airing of this thesis, Bill Bennett got as rich as Croesus.
May 8, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin
On the Search for Weapons of Mass Destruction, Whose Presence Was the On the Search for Weapons of Mass Destruction, Whose Presence Was the
So maybe we will find them yet, Well stashed away in some place clever. Or were they just destroyed in March? Or never there at all? Whatever.
May 1, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Wars Wars
(A preventive-war anthem sung to the tune of "Trees," by Joyce Kilmer, with piano accompaniment)
Apr 24, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin
On The Halliburton Corporation’s Iraq Contracts On The Halliburton Corporation’s Iraq Contracts
A lot of folks die. At last the war ends. The world is made safe For Dick Cheney's friends.
Apr 17, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Everything George Bush Needs to Know He Learned on the Playground Everything George Bush Needs to Know He Learned on the Playground
Let's say that from the east while you look south An icy snowball hits you in the mouth. You see the kid who did it run, the wretch,
Apr 10, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin
On the Resignation of Richard Perle, Captain of The Sissy Hawk Brigade, On the Resignation of Richard Perle, Captain of The Sissy Hawk Brigade,
And so for Richard Perle was writ The second graf of his obit: This soaring bird of hawkish myth Was grounded when discovered with His talon in the cookie jar
Apr 3, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin
On Richard Perle, Lobbyist, Businessman And, Perhaps Not Coincidentally, Chairman of the Defense Policy Board On Richard Perle, Lobbyist, Businessman And, Perhaps Not Coincidentally, Chairman of the Defense Policy Board
The plans to start this war were laid Within the Sissy Hawk Brigade-- A band of Vietnam evaders All puffed up now as tough crusaders.
Mar 27, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin
The Loyal Opposition The Loyal Opposition
The Senate Democrats sat mum, Like doves afraid to coo. So history will soon record This war as their war too.
Mar 20, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin
A Cheer for the New Nation of the State Union of Serbia and Montenegro A Cheer for the New Nation of the State Union of Serbia and Montenegro
Whose name stands out like banners made of Day-Glo? The State Union of Serbia and Montenegro! What sounds as if it's jerry-built by Lego?
Mar 13, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin
The Kurds Are in the Way Again The Kurds Are in the Way Again
The Kurds are in the way again, And so, to our dismay again, If we begin a fray again, As it appears we may again, It seems we must betray again
Mar 5, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin