One Problem One Problem
Yes, jury trials in public are a right, Says Cheney. Then he says that in this fight No terrorist deserves that sort of trial, Though otherwise it's certainly our style. Without a trial, though, how do we decide To whom this definition is applied? We grab a guy, but is the guy we've got An undeserving terrorist or not?
Nov 29, 2001 / Column / Calvin Trillin
The Republican Plan to Stimulate the Economy The Republican Plan to Stimulate the Economy
It's very hard to estimate Just what it takes to stimulate A corporation, but we know These people need a lot of dough, And so, if no one else objects, We'll cut them some humongous checks. But stimulating them is tough. A billion may not be enough To spur a corporation while It keeps its CEO in style. It's possible we should explore Some way that we can give them more. We may just give them all we've got: It takes a lot to get them hot.
Nov 15, 2001 / Column / Calvin Trillin
A Few Words on the Northern Alliance A Few Words on the Northern Alliance
Nov 8, 2001 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Running Out of Targets (A Pilot’s Lament) Running Out of Targets (A Pilot’s Lament)
We're running out of targets, guys, There's nothing to destroy. They simply don't have buildings here, Like Baghdad or Hanoi. Today I sent a missile off And said, "That's all she wrote." It turned out that I'd vaporized Two camels and a goat. So let's go back to Serbia. These gunsights have to glom On something that's not rocks or sand. There's nothing here to bomb.
Nov 1, 2001 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Day-O, an Afghan Calypso Day-O, an Afghan Calypso
(With apologies to Harry Belafonte, among others) Bombed all night by dat Yankee bunch Daylight come and de bombers go home Now dey'll drop some cashew crunch Daylight ...
Oct 25, 2001 / Column / Calvin Trillin
On V.S. Naipaul’s Nobel Prize On V.S. Naipaul’s Nobel Prize
So V.S. Naipaul finally gets the prize. It's said he's willing, through unblinking eyes, To make his observations, then recall The bleakest Third World countries, warts and al...
Oct 18, 2001 / Column / Calvin Trillin
A Two-Pronged Approach to the Afghan People A Two-Pronged Approach to the Afghan People
By night our missiles rain on them, By day we drop them bread. They should be grateful for the food-- Unless, of course, they're dead.
Oct 11, 2001 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Indispensable Indispensable
(An old Nat "King" Cole song, as sung by Rudy "King" Giuliani) Indispensable, that's what I am. I'm an icon now, like Uncle Sam. I'm the rock this town is built up...
Oct 4, 2001 / Column / Calvin Trillin
A Concise History of Danny Almonte’s Little League Career A Concise History of Danny Almonte’s Little League Career
It's like finding another Babe Ruth, But he seems a bit long in the tooth.
Sep 6, 2001 / Column / Calvin Trillin