The Ballad of Harvey Pitt The Ballad of Harvey Pitt
(With apologies, once again, to Stephen Sondheim and his demon barber)
Nov 7, 2002 / Column / Calvin Trillin
More Danger in Sniper Case More Danger in Sniper Case
With sniper suspect now in jail,
DAs are fighting tooth and nail.
They're in a monumental race
To see who gets to try this case
Oct 31, 2002 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Saddam Hussein’s Election Victory Saddam Hussein’s Election Victory
Unanimous is what the vote count was.
He didn't miss a voter, to our knowledge.
The triumph his, he now remains in charge,
Unless he lost in the Electoral College.
Oct 24, 2002 / Column / Calvin Trillin
A Short Summary of the Nobel Peace Prize Announcement A Short Summary of the Nobel Peace Prize Announcement
(Translated From the Norwegian)
The Nobel Carter finally got
He got 'cause he's what Bush is not.
Oct 17, 2002 / Column / Calvin Trillin
A Chickenhawk Cheer A Chickenhawk Cheer
Bomb 'em now, kill 'em now, zim, boom, bah
Chickenhawks, chickenhawks, rah, rah, rah.
Vietnam reverberates.
(We were rooting from the States.)
Oct 10, 2002 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Exit Robert (The Torch) Torricelli Exit Robert (The Torch) Torricelli
The Torch could not make folks forget
The graft for which he's cited.
The only slogan left to use
Was "Never been indicted."
Oct 3, 2002 / Column / Calvin Trillin
There’s No, No In Your Eyes There’s No, No In Your Eyes
As Sung to Saddam Hussein by George W. Bush
(With apologies to Eddy Howard, and anybody who becomes collateral damage)
Sep 26, 2002 / Column / Calvin Trillin
A Scholarly Analysis of Developments (Including Satellite Photos, A Scholarly Analysis of Developments (Including Satellite Photos,
Osama's split and Wall Street's sagging.
It's time to get that puppy wagging.
Sep 19, 2002 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Building a Coalition, W.-Style Building a Coalition, W.-Style
We'll talk to Germany and France,
Brief Russians and Chinese,
Consult with Turkey and Japan,
Then do just as we please.
Sep 12, 2002 / Column / Calvin Trillin
War Against Iraq: The Context War Against Iraq: The Context
The terrorism war begins to sag. The perpetrator we were meant to bag Remains at large, and wartime fervor fades. Then Bush and all his hawkish White House aides Drop sanctio...
Sep 5, 2002 / Column / Calvin Trillin