A Response From Cloud Cuckoo Land to David Kay’s Departing, Weaponless A Response From Cloud Cuckoo Land to David Kay’s Departing, Weaponless
They'd said that David Kay would list
The weapons that the UN missed.
Now David Kay tells Bush and Blair
The weapons simply were not there.
Jan 29, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
On Paul O’Neill’s Revelation That the Bushmen Were Planning A War With Iraq From The Earliest Days of The Administration On Paul O’Neill’s Revelation That the Bushmen Were Planning A War With Iraq From The Earliest Days of The Administration
It now appears that they saw 9/11
As, even though not quite ordained in heaven
To punish godless sins allowed in bed
(As Falwell and Pat Robertson had said),
Jan 22, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Herein Ralph Nader’s Latest Rationale for Another Presidential Run Is Explained Without the Use of the Word ‘Cockamamie’ Herein Ralph Nader’s Latest Rationale for Another Presidential Run Is Explained Without the Use of the Word ‘Cockamamie’
It's easy to forget, but still true
That creepy guys have ego trips too.
Jan 15, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
On Winning the War and Losing the Alerts On Winning the War and Losing the Alerts
We're fighting terror in Iraq, Bush says,
So we won't have to fight these guys right here.
Then why the orange alerts and canceled flights
Jan 8, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Reaction in the Justice Department to Federal Appeals Court Ruling ‘War on Terrorism’ Detention Policies Unconstitutional Reaction in the Justice Department to Federal Appeals Court Ruling ‘War on Terrorism’ Detention Policies Unconstitutional
A right to counsel and a right to trial?
John Ashcroft wonders: How do you suppose
We'll save our freedoms and our way of life
If we start granting everybody those?
Dec 24, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Memo Memo
To: Commander, Coalition Forces
From: Karl Rove, Supreme Commander
Dec 18, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin
What Tom DeLay Might Have Had in Mind When He Hatched the Cockamamie and Short-Lived Scheme to Use a Cruise Ship During the Republican Convention What Tom DeLay Might Have Had in Mind When He Hatched the Cockamamie and Short-Lived Scheme to Use a Cruise Ship During the Republican Convention
"A cruise ship in the harbor," thought DeLay,
"Could be a place where decent folks would stay,
Avoiding all that mob that we detest--
Dec 11, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin
One Way George Bush’s Surprise Visit to Baghdad (Sort of) May Have Come About One Way George Bush’s Surprise Visit to Baghdad (Sort of) May Have Come About
Supreme Commander Rove, despite his power,
Watched, helpless, as his finest stunt went sour.
Off San Diego, he'd arranged, with glee
A perfect picture, Victory at Sea--
Dec 4, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin
George W. Bush Reaches for the Geezer Vote George W. Bush Reaches for the Geezer Vote
Bush needs to lure some seniors to his side,
And so this bill on Medicare was crafted.
His world view's also fine with some of them,
Nov 26, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin
A Short History of Dick Cheney as Minder A Short History of Dick Cheney as Minder
At first, we thought we should be glad
To have a nanny for the lad--
Young Bush, who might be overawed,
Who'd barely even been abroad,
Nov 20, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin