Bush Administration Priorities on National Secrets Bush Administration Priorities on National Secrets
When piqued at Ambassador Wilson
The Bushmen saw no reason why
They shouldn't just leak to all quarters
The name of a CIA spy.
Jun 17, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Concerning Speculation On the Political Impact of President Ronald Reagan’s Death Concerning Speculation On the Political Impact of President Ronald Reagan’s Death
Though theories of conspiracy crop up,
In fairness, one of them should be dissolved.
He died not in October but in June;
It should be clear that Rove was not involved.
Jun 10, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
The United States Describes the Wonders of Sovereignty to the Iraqi People The United States Describes the Wonders of Sovereignty to the Iraqi People
You'll have a government real soon.
You'll see democracy writ large.
We promised sovereignty. It's yours.
And worry not: We're still in charge.
Jun 3, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
On the Rupture of Relations Between Ahmad Chalabi and the United States of America On the Rupture of Relations Between Ahmad Chalabi and the United States of America
The learned Wolfowitz and Perle, it seems,
Made Chalabi the hero of their dreams.
Yes, all the Sissy Hawks were glad to sup
On cockamamie tales that he served up.
May 27, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
The Coalition Authority Explains Democracy to the Iraqi People The Coalition Authority Explains Democracy to the Iraqi People
We'll give you back the country soon.
Your leaders at the end of June
Will be there democratically.
We'll let you know soon who they'll be.
May 20, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
On the Abuse of Prisoners in Iraq On the Abuse of Prisoners in Iraq
We're told that the few rotten apples
Who brought on this sordid affair'll
Be punished. But what if those apples
Are right at the top of the barrel?
May 13, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
On the Selection (and De-Selection) of a Baathist General From the Republican Guard to Pacify the Populace, Using American Weapons, Or, Pick of the Week On the Selection (and De-Selection) of a Baathist General From the Republican Guard to Pacify the Populace, Using American Weapons, Or, Pick of the Week
By smashing evil-doers flat, we've said,
This war has changed Iraq forevermore.
So why is it that Kurds and Shiites start
Imagining they've seen this all before?
May 6, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Not Wounded Enough Not Wounded Enough
Republicans say Kerry might have got
Some wounds, but not the kind that hurt a lot.
Their own man cannot ever be accused
Apr 29, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
We Were Ready We Were Ready
CHORUS
We were ready--
Oh, so ready.
Sure, it happened, but those were the breaks.
And remember
That we never, ever make mistakes.
Apr 22, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Condoleezza (“Mushroom Cloud”) Rice Explains Her Silver Bullet Theory to the 9/11 Commission Condoleezza (“Mushroom Cloud”) Rice Explains Her Silver Bullet Theory to the 9/11 Commission
Because no silver bullet could have stopped
This horrifying deed from being done,
We cannot blame those dozing on the job
For never even loading up the gun.
Apr 15, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin