Deadline Poet

Rudy Cancels His Trip

Rudy Cancels His Trip Rudy Cancels His Trip

He isn’t going to Ukraine. Alas. We hoped and prayed in vain That he would go and then explain That there he wanted to remain.

May 17, 2019 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Volodymyr Zelensky

Zelensky’s Victory Zelensky’s Victory

A brash comedian will lead Ukraine. He won the presidential vote hands down. Among world leaders, this may be a first, Although our leader’s often called a clown.

May 2, 2019 / Column / Calvin Trillin

William Barr leaving home

William Barr’s Handling of the Mueller Report William Barr’s Handling of the Mueller Report

He had the résumé and name For which such DC lawyers strive. The headline of his life has changed. It’s “William Barr; He Took a Dive.”…

Apr 29, 2019 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Herman Cain

Welcome Herman Cain Welcome Herman Cain

The late-night comics make it plain They’re thrilled to have back Herman Cain— Reminding us of days more sane, When folks like Herman would campaign For posts we knew they’d not ob…

Apr 22, 2019 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Fully Booked

Fully Booked Fully Booked

Trump, at the southern border, says to would-be immigrants, “We’re full.” —News reports “We’re full,” Trump said, as if he ran An inn that’s booked up for the night. Those empty ro…

Apr 15, 2019 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Central American migrants

Odd Reasoning Odd Reasoning

“Trump to cut millions in aid to 3 Central American countries.” —The Washington Post The surge of migrants comes from countries where Conditions are, to say the least, adverse. So…

Apr 4, 2019 / Column / Calvin Trillin

A veteran mourning McCain

Low Point? Low Point?

Is what Trump said of John McCain As low as low can get? No. Knowing Trump, it’s likely that We ain’t seen nothing yet.

Mar 28, 2019 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Lori Loughlin

The College-Admissions Scandal The College-Admissions Scandal

Admissions advantages rich kids enjoy Were hardly sufficient for one wealthy faction. Through cheating and bribing they paid to create Their very own form of affirmative action.

Mar 21, 2019 / Column / Calvin Trillin

A Protester holds a Trump puppet

Who’s the Dummy? Who’s the Dummy?

A wall, Trump says, will keep us safe From every scary Guatemalan. And count on Fox to back him up, Like Pravda always backed up Stalin. But Pravda got the party line That it was o…

Mar 15, 2019 / Column / Calvin Trillin

Trump’s Justification for Giving His Son-in-Law a Security Clearance

Trump’s Justification for Giving His Son-in-Law a Security Clearance Trump’s Justification for Giving His Son-in-Law a Security Clearance

A clearance for Jared’s an absolute must. Though he might be lacking the CIA’s trust, Restrictions on Jared just had to surcease, For Jared alone can bring Middle East peace. In de…

Mar 7, 2019 / Column / Calvin Trillin

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