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Eric Kenning
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Satirist Eric Kenning currently resides in New York.
His campaign slogan--"As I Was Saying, You Have My Undivided Attention"--is playing well with voters in areas where cell phone coverage is erratic.
The White House announced that the President has run out of his own bad ideas and is looking elsewhere for new ones, even if they don't make any sense.
Candidates are eager to "keep all options on the table," but where's the table?
Polling experts say that Bush's numbers are at an all-time low, and that only certain toxic molds have come close to those numbers in the past.
Areas of the nation's capital were in ruins as protests continued against a bill that would revive the military draft, but only for neoconservatives.
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