Pattern Pattern
Trump demands that governors “be appreciative” of his coronavirus response.—news reports The governors seeking equipment from Trump Know praise is the path to a hearing. Extortion’…
Apr 21, 2020 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Three Cheers Three Cheers
We give three cheers to Dr. Fauci. Quite old but hardly on the couch, he Confirmed that Fauci’s still no slouch. He Just gave the facts. That made Trump grouchy. So three cheers mo…
Apr 7, 2020 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Mixed Message Mixed Message
Trump’s contradictions of experts create confusion. —News reports Not finding White House briefings edifying, Some citizens are simply not complying With steps to keep a lot…
Mar 31, 2020 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Reliefer Reliefer
Jared Kushner steps in to fix White House’s chaotic response to the pandemic.—News reports He’s tasked with devising a Middle East peace, Has other portfolios equally grand. So w…
Mar 24, 2020 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Mike Pence as Chief of the Coronavirus Task Force Mike Pence as Chief of the Coronavirus Task Force
The president believed that it made sense To put Mike Pence in charge of our defense Against this quickly spreading worldwide threat To public health—perhaps the worst threat yet.
Mar 17, 2020 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Richard Grenell Named Acting Director of National Intelligence Richard Grenell Named Acting Director of National Intelligence
The flunky ranks begin to swell: Trump’s intel chief’s now R. Grenell, Who must repel what doesn’t jell With hokum all Fox anchors sell. On non-Fox facts he mustn’t dwell Or he wil…
Mar 3, 2020 / Column / Calvin Trillin
The Removal of Lt. Col. Vindman (and His Brother) From the White House Staff The Removal of Lt. Col. Vindman (and His Brother) From the White House Staff
To White House employees the message is clear: For someone who wants to protect his career, Acceptance of alternate facts is required. And telling the truth can now get you fired.
Feb 18, 2020 / Column / Calvin Trillin
The Vote to Acquit Trump The Vote to Acquit Trump
He lies about how much he owns. But one thing’s true, and very scary: The US Senate has become His wholly owned subsidiary.
Feb 11, 2020 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Mike Pompeo Implies That a Reporter Who Pressed Him Can’t Locate Ukraine on the Map Mike Pompeo Implies That a Reporter Who Pressed Him Can’t Locate Ukraine on the Map
Mike’s insulting, of course, and quite childish at that. But this might not be labeled a loss If you think of the blunders abroad we’d avoid By imposing such tests on his boss.
Feb 4, 2020 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Prince Harry’s Employment Prospects in Canada (Worst-Case Scenario) Prince Harry’s Employment Prospects in Canada (Worst-Case Scenario)
The prince has trouble finding work. Although without a pause he’s hunted, He hasn’t seen an ad that says, “Experienced ribbon cutter wanted.”…
Jan 28, 2020 / Column / Calvin Trillin