This was Calvin Trillin’s contribution for the July 9, 1990, issue.

His real estate is in a slump And wifey’s proving hard to dump And everyone he called a chump Would like to see him on his rump. The banks march in (galump, galump) To tell him when and where to jump. So sympathize with Donald Trump. Don’t listen for that final thump. Allow into your throat a lump. His bubble’s limp. He broke his pump.