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From The Onion
December 9, 2006
Dictator Slays Millions in Last-Minute Push to Be Time’s Man of the Year
Myanmar’s brutal ruler Than Shwe is angling for the honor.
November 21, 2006
Kansas Outlaws Practice Of Evolution
In response to a Nov. 7 referendum, state lawmakers end the highly controversial process.
November 20, 2006
CNN Renews This Week At War For Next Eight Seasons
“A premise like this can go on for a generation,” says CNN President Jonathan Klein.
November 14, 2006
Politicians Sweep Midterm Elections
Resounding victories in all states, counties, cities, towns.
November 5, 2006
‘C-List Celebrity Killer’ Leaves Police Enthusiastically Guessing Who’s Next
Following Thursday’s gruesome discovery of the remains of former
star Joey Lawrence, law enforcement officials are feverishly speculating on the identity of the killer’s next victim.
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November 5, 2006
Rumsfeld: ‘My Half-Assed Job Here Is Done’
November 1, 2006
GOP Throws All Financial Support Behind One Candidate
The National Republican Congressional Committee allocates its remaining $256 million cash-on-hand to an Arizona incumbent in the hopes of retaining at least one House seat.
October 24, 2006
Mars Rover Beginning To Hate Mars
The unmanned vehicle is “bored out of its mind.”
October 21, 2006
Bush: Thousands of Registered Democrats Needed For ‘Extremely Important’ Mission
President Bush said Monday that members of the opposition party are the only ones who can make the November operation a success.
October 13, 2006
Indonesian Mother Sews Halloween Costumes For 60,000 Children
“I try to put a little extra love in each seam I stitch, or epoxy, or hot-glue, or heat-seal,” said factory worker Weninng Panggi.