From The Onion

Dictator Slays Millions in Last-Minute Push to Be Time’s Man of the Year Dictator Slays Millions in Last-Minute Push to Be Time’s Man of the Year

Myanmar's brutal ruler Than Shwe is angling for the honor.

Dec 9, 2006 / The Nation

Kansas Outlaws Practice Of Evolution Kansas Outlaws Practice Of Evolution

In response to a Nov. 7 referendum, state lawmakers end the highly controversial process.

Nov 21, 2006 / The Nation

CNN Renews This Week At War For Next Eight Seasons CNN Renews This Week At War For Next Eight Seasons

"A premise like this can go on for a generation," says CNN President Jonathan Klein.

Nov 20, 2006 / The Nation

Politicians Sweep Midterm Elections Politicians Sweep Midterm Elections

Resounding victories in all states, counties, cities, towns.

Nov 14, 2006 / The Nation

‘C-List Celebrity Killer’ Leaves Police Enthusiastically Guessing Who’s Next ‘C-List Celebrity Killer’ Leaves Police Enthusiastically Guessing Who’s Next

Following Thursday's gruesome discovery of the remains of former Blossom star Joey Lawrence, law enforcement officials are feverishly speculating on the identity of the killer's ne...

Nov 5, 2006 / The Nation

Rumsfeld: ‘My Half-Assed Job Here Is Done’ Rumsfeld: ‘My Half-Assed Job Here Is Done’

November 8, 2006 WASHINGTON, DC--After nearly six years of much-publicized service as Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld announced his resignation Wednesday afternoon, ...

Nov 5, 2006 / The Nation

GOP Throws All Financial Support Behind One Candidate GOP Throws All Financial Support Behind One Candidate

The National Republican Congressional Committee allocates its remaining $256 million cash-on-hand to an Arizona incumbent in the hopes of retaining at least one House seat.

Nov 1, 2006 / The Nation

Mars Rover Beginning To Hate Mars Mars Rover Beginning To Hate Mars

The unmanned vehicle is "bored out of its mind."

Oct 24, 2006 / The Nation

Bush: Thousands of Registered Democrats Needed For ‘Extremely Important’ Mission Bush: Thousands of Registered Democrats Needed For ‘Extremely Important’ Mission

President Bush said Monday that members of the opposition party are the only ones who can make the November operation a success.

Oct 21, 2006 / The Nation

Indonesian Mother Sews Halloween Costumes For 60,000 Children Indonesian Mother Sews Halloween Costumes For 60,000 Children

"I try to put a little extra love in each seam I stitch, or epoxy, or hot-glue, or heat-seal," said factory worker Weninng Panggi.

Oct 13, 2006 / The Nation

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