George W. Bush, the Lion of Baghdad, Demands That Syria Withdraw From Lebanon George W. Bush, the Lion of Baghdad, Demands That Syria Withdraw From Lebanon
You must withdraw, since nations can't
Install their troops in other places
To change regimes that they don't like.
Except, of course, in certain cases.
Mar 17, 2005 / Column / Calvin Trillin
On the Secret ‘Rendition’ of Terror Suspects to Countries Known to Use Torture On the Secret ‘Rendition’ of Terror Suspects to Countries Known to Use Torture
As Jesus said to render unto Caesar
A portion of thy grain or of thy stock,
Our policy's to render unto Caesar
In hopes that he'll apply electric shock.
Mar 10, 2005 / Column / Calvin Trillin
On the Risk of Having a Notoriously Foul-Mouthed Comedian Host the Oscars On the Risk of Having a Notoriously Foul-Mouthed Comedian Host the Oscars
Though having Rock, some said, was plain insane, he
Eschewed the sort of language used by Cheney.
Mar 3, 2005 / Books & the Arts / Calvin Trillin
Ambassador John Negroponte’s Intelligence on the Subject of Torture and Murder Squads Ambassador John Negroponte’s Intelligence on the Subject of Torture and Murder Squads
The man who's just been put in charge
Of knowing all will now assure us
That he knew nothing--nada, zip--
When he was stationed in Honduras.
Feb 24, 2005 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Condoleezza Rice Condoleezza Rice
Condoleezza Rice, who is cold as ice, is precise with her advice. Yes, she is quite precise, and, yes, she's cold as ice.
Feb 17, 2005 / Column / Calvin Trillin
A Tabloid Reader Responds to Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s Announcement That He’s Appealing the Decision Making Gay Marriage Legal in New York A Tabloid Reader Responds to Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s Announcement That He’s Appealing the Decision Making Gay Marriage Legal in New York
Though Mike must do what he thinks right,
A lot of us think it's a pity,
Since we were hoping SpongeBob might
Decide to marry in the city.
Feb 10, 2005 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Democracy Flowers in the Middle East Democracy Flowers in the Middle East
So now this election is done.
What will follow it--maybe a
Reversal so women can drive
Cars in Saudi Arabia?
Feb 3, 2005 / Column / Calvin Trillin
We Could Have Danced All Night We Could Have Danced All Night
(The Bushes Do "My Fair Lady" at the Inaugural Balls)
Jan 27, 2005 / Column / Calvin Trillin
On the Confirmation of Condoleezza (‘Mushroom Cloud’) Rice as Secretary of State On the Confirmation of Condoleezza (‘Mushroom Cloud’) Rice as Secretary of State
The mushroom-shaped cloud Condi spun
As being the next smoking gun
Was hooey invented to show
Attacking Iraq's apropos.
Jan 20, 2005 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Hunky Dory in Iraq Hunky Dory in Iraq
(A Song Sung in the Shower Every Morning by
George W. Bush)
Jan 13, 2005 / Column / Calvin Trillin