Calvin Trillin, the author of Random House’s Deciding the Next Decider: The 2008 Presidential Election in Rhyme, is The Nation‘s “deadline poet.” He has been acclaimed in fields of writing that are remarkably diverse. As someone who has published solidly reported pieces in The New Yorker for forty years, he has been called “perhaps the finest reporter in America.” His wry commentary on the American scene and his books chronicling his adventures as a “happy eater” have earned him renown as “a classic American humorist.” His About Alice—a 2007 New York Times best seller that was hailed as “a miniature masterpiece”—followed two other best-selling memoirs, Remembering Denny and Messages from My Father.
As Jesus said to render unto Caesar
A portion of thy grain or of thy stock,
Our policy's to render unto Caesar
In hopes that he'll apply electric shock.
Though having Rock, some said, was plain insane, he
Eschewed the sort of language used by Cheney.
The man who's just been put in charge
Of knowing all will now assure us
That he knew nothing--nada, zip--
When he was stationed in Honduras.
Though Mike must do what he thinks right,
A lot of us think it's a pity,
Since we were hoping SpongeBob might
Decide to marry in the city.
The mushroom-shaped cloud Condi spun
As being the next smoking gun
Was hooey invented to show
Attacking Iraq's apropos.