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April 29, 2002 Issue

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  • Column

    Elizabeth Dole

    Get set again for Liddy Dole.
    She's back, to let the good times roll.
    She's entering another race,
    Her hair and diction all in place.
    (Her hair is even more precise
    Than that of Condoleezza Rice.)
    Her problem is that she's been cast
    As someone with a Beltway past.
    Although she's Carolina bred,
    She left her home to get ahead.
    And now they say her luggage tag
    Says DC--on a carpetbag.
    "But ahm from heah," she'll say to all.
    She'll say it in a Tarheel drawl.
    The drawl alone should do the trick,
    Unless she lays it on too thick--
    Unless the voters say, in candor,
    "We simply cannot understand her."

    Calvin Trillin

  • The Royal Scam

    I really must come to England more often. The last time I was here, in mid-February, Princess Margaret gave up the ghost. And now, even as I step off the wondrous train that connects Paris to London, the flags are hauled halfway down to mark the passing of Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother, last Empress of India. This was supposed to be a Jubilee year, marking half a century of the present sovereign's rule. But it has been a series of black-draped obsequies so far. And I plan to come back in early June...

    Christopher Hitchens

  • Sharon Wears Oppressor’s Cloak

    What is the fundamental difference between Slobodan Milosevic and Ariel Sharon? The former is on trial for war crimes, while the latter still leads an occupying army.

    Robert Scheer