A New, Simpler Analysis of the Recent Bush-Putin Summit A New, Simpler Analysis of the Recent Bush-Putin Summit
Bush and Putin talk together, To each other's charms succumb. Bush thinks Putin can be trusted. Putin thinks that Bush is dumb. Bush and Putin end their meeting, Smile...
Jun 28, 2001 / Column / Calvin Trillin
A Former Fraternity President Deals With the Nuclear Proliferation Issue A Former Fraternity President Deals With the Nuclear Proliferation Issue
Though Bush intends to drop the missile treaty, He's happy that this Putin guy's so neat, he Will prove to be the nicest sort of Roosky. So just relax, and crack yourself a br...
Jun 21, 2001 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Post-Jeffords Slippery Slope in the Senate Post-Jeffords Slippery Slope in the Senate
If Georgia's Miller did decide He's really on the other side, The Democrats might then connive To make Strom prove he's still alive.
Jun 14, 2001 / Column / Calvin Trillin
The Republicans and John McCain The Republicans and John McCain
They thought that Jeffords was their bane, But now they see that John McCain, Who shrugs off efforts to restrain His longtime love of speaking plain, And likes to jerk George...
Jun 7, 2001 / Column / Calvin Trillin
On the Gradual End of the Estate Tax On the Gradual End of the Estate Tax
For years, estates of wealthy men were taxed-- The sort of thing that spoils a nice goodbye. The tax will disappear by 2010. And then the rich will find it safe to die.
May 31, 2001 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Brilliant Legal Tactics By Raoul Felder Brilliant Legal Tactics By Raoul Felder
So Rudy's lawyer, playing the piranha, Decided he'd gain ground by dissing Donna. The judge, appalled that anyone could be As crude as that, then squashed him like a flea. Th...
May 25, 2001 / Column / Calvin Trillin
The FBI in Peace and War The FBI in Peace and War
The FBI knows every way To put a case in disarray. For years they managed to mislay Some tapes a Birmingham DA Could use against the KKK. Because some files had gone astray ...
May 17, 2001 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Will China Deign to Give Us Back Our Plane? Will China Deign to Give Us Back Our Plane?
(With apologies to Alan Jay Lerner) Will China deign to give us back our plane? We know they've got it. Will China deign to give us back our plane? For sure, they've got it. It goes against our grain To explain. It's a pain. And yet they still retain Our plane. Our plane! Will China deign to give us back our plane? Will China deign to give us back our plane? What more can they obtain That's germane from our plane? In vain do we complain. It's plain insane! Their government is truly inhumane, So should we bomb them into beef chow mein?
Apr 26, 2001 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Retro Retro
The corporate types are firmly in control. The Russians, it appears, have sent a mole To steal our secrets. And the Chinese wait For tension to develop in their Strait. It's ...
Apr 19, 2001 / Column / Calvin Trillin
On the Bush Administration’s Reversal Of Its Announcement That Testing School-Lunch Meat for Salmonella Would No Longer Be Required On the Bush Administration’s Reversal Of Its Announcement That Testing School-Lunch Meat for Salmonella Would No Longer Be Required
They'll check for salmonella, kids, It's safe as mozzarella, kids, Light up a panatella, kid. You've nothing more to fear. Give thanks for this new fella, kids. Sing p...
Apr 12, 2001 / Column / Calvin Trillin