On the Congressional Response to the ‘Under God’ Controversy On the Congressional Response to the ‘Under God’ Controversy
They pledge allegiance to the thought That every politician ought To take a stand that's foursquare for the Lord. They think if they say, "God is great! Don't separate him fr...
Jul 3, 2002 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Death and Taxes 2010 Death and Taxes 2010
"How long do I have?" James Pierson asked, trying to maintain eye contact with the man behind the desk. "Three months, eleven days, seven hours and forty-three minutes," David Ba...
Jun 27, 2002 / Calvin Trillin
A Crisis of Faith Brought On by Martha Stewart A Crisis of Faith Brought On by Martha Stewart
Agnostic's what he was, had always been. He'd never prayed a prayer, confessed a sin. He's thinking, though, if Martha goes to jail, On Sundays henceforth he will never fail ...
Jun 27, 2002 / Column / Calvin Trillin
In Martha Stewart’s Kitchen In Martha Stewart’s Kitchen
The camera pans across the room
To see what she has made:
An omelette or a spring bouquet
Or just an inside trade.
Jun 20, 2002 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Department of Earth Security Department of Earth Security
The EPA cites chapter, and some verse, To show this warming's making matters worse. It's getting worse no matter how you score it. So here's the plan: They think we should ign...
Jun 13, 2002 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Cheney’s Head: An Explanation Cheney’s Head: An Explanation
One mystery I've tried to disentangle: Why Cheney's head is always at an angle. He tries to come on straight, and yet I can't Help notice that his head is at a slant. When Ch...
Jun 6, 2002 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Joie de Vivre in the Land of Color-Coded Terrorism Alerts Joie de Vivre in the Land of Color-Coded Terrorism Alerts
I got up Monday feeling mellow:
Expected red, but it was yellow.
May 30, 2002 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Dick Cheney’s Primer on the Constitution Dick Cheney’s Primer on the Constitution
So what's it called if during war you criticize the President for any reason? Treason. And how long does this war go on (and this is where this theory's really pretty clever)? ...
May 23, 2002 / Column / Calvin Trillin
A Solution at Last A Solution at Last
Likud says it does not anticipate
That Palestinians will have a state.
So they, in turn, are meant to stop this shrying,
And try to make their peace with occupying.
May 16, 2002 / Column / Calvin Trillin
A Short History of the French Presidential Election A Short History of the French Presidential Election
In Paris it began to look Like Jacques Chirac was just a crook, But voters voted for him when He ran against Le Pen again. Though graft is certainly a curse, They figured th...
May 9, 2002 / Column / Calvin Trillin