Hard Times Hard Times
the 2013 compensation of disney ceo robert iger was reduced to $34 million. —News reports The forty million made before Has been reduced to thirty-four. At home, Bob now knows what’s in store: Economies he must explore To try to keep wolves from the door. He hears remarks he can’t ignore: They whisper, those who make much more, “Poor Iger makes but thirty-four.”
Dec 30, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Rand Paul Says Extending Unemployment Benefits Would Be a Disservice to Those Receiving Them Rand Paul Says Extending Unemployment Benefits Would Be a Disservice to Those Receiving Them
You don’t know how you’ll ever feed the kids Without the benefits? You’re getting nervous? Well, worry not. You heard what Rand Paul said: A cutoff’s really doing you a service.
Dec 18, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Gloomy Numbers for Holiday Shopping’s Big Weekend—‘New York Times’ Headline Gloomy Numbers for Holiday Shopping’s Big Weekend—‘New York Times’ Headline
Yes, Christmas shopping’s start was weak. And so, as to the malls you start out, Remember that your country calls: Your duty is to shop your heart out.
Dec 4, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Double-Entry Bookkeeping Double-Entry Bookkeeping
u.s. retailers decline to aid factory victims in bangladesh —Headline in The New York Times Black Friday comes but once a year, And bargains mean that sales are strong. Refusing help to these folks is A bargain lasting all year long.
Nov 26, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Cheney Sisters in Public Feud Over Marriage —‘New York Times’ Headline Cheney Sisters in Public Feud Over Marriage —‘New York Times’ Headline
Yes, Liz and Mary now are fighting. Thanksgiving there should be exciting. On Turkey Day, we may get word On who was first to flip the bird.
Nov 20, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Rand Paul Plagiarism Revealed Rand Paul Plagiarism Revealed
The news that Paul swipes others’ words Has left observers shaken. Could being Libertarian Mean liberties are taken?
Nov 13, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Cruz v. Paul, Paul v. Cruz Cruz v. Paul, Paul v. Cruz
“2 Tea Party Stars’ Rivalry Begins to Simmer” —Headline in The New York Times It’s Cruz v. Paul and Paul v. Cruz. That’s what The New York Times has heard. If that’s the case, we now can say They’ll nominate a wacko bird.
Nov 6, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin
A Spouse at Goldman Sachs A Spouse at Goldman Sachs
It’s tyranny, says Cruz. He’s fought Obamacare with great endurance. We must repeal—so says this man Who’s covered by his wife’s insurance.
Oct 30, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin
JPMorgan Cops a $13 Billion Plea JPMorgan Cops a $13 Billion Plea
They touted securities they knew were trash. The government’s case plainly shows They’re willing to profit from bucket-shop scams, Although they wear much nicer clothes.
Oct 23, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Why Tea Partiers Think They’re Winning Why Tea Partiers Think They’re Winning
The columnists they read all share their views. Talk-radio is where they get their news. They spurn the facts objective pollsters gather. They’re suffering, alas, from Bubble Blather.
Oct 16, 2013 / Column / Calvin Trillin