Calvin Trillin, the author of Random House’s Deciding the Next Decider: The 2008 Presidential Election in Rhyme, is The Nation‘s “deadline poet.” He has been acclaimed in fields of writing that are remarkably diverse. As someone who has published solidly reported pieces in The New Yorker for forty years, he has been called “perhaps the finest reporter in America.” His wry commentary on the American scene and his books chronicling his adventures as a “happy eater” have earned him renown as “a classic American humorist.” His About Alice—a 2007 New York Times best seller that was hailed as “a miniature masterpiece”—followed two other best-selling memoirs, Remembering Denny and Messages from My Father.
That's excellent. So tell us: Why did you
For months imply the opposite was true?
And why does Cheney (Nanny Dick) still flog
Bin Laden is the name I bear,
And, modestly, I think it's fair
To say it's thought by spies and cops
Among all terrorists I'm tops.
And therefore it's a crying sha
I wasn't really for the war.
But all my kin, in wars before,
Had gone when called. I couldn't flee.
No, Canada was not for me.
Another thing that I was not
We might provoke less violent demonstrations
If we invaded slightly fewer nations.
Regular people, just plain working folks
Always stood out in my eyes.
I scorn all those people who drink wine instead
Of eating Frito pies.
The little error that we may have made
In picking out a country to invade
Was understandable. The names, of course,
Are close, and when you make a show of force
In canned obits that papers keep,
The second graf relates
The fact that Nader gave us Bush,
Through votes in several states.