Bluesky

Since she was elected to Congress in 2018, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has had her every move scrutinized. In a 2021 interview, Vice President JD Vance condemned Democrats as “childless cat ladies” who “don’t really have a direct stake in [our country],” citing AOC’s lack of children as a matter of public concern. Now the 36-year-old New York representative has embraced the attention in order to change that narrative, posting a series of Instagram reels documenting her egg-freezing journey and demystifying this fast-growing type of reproductive care. Her chatty, informative reels offer a calm counterpoint to the fevered lectures we’ve heard from Vance and others in the “retrosexual” crowd (pro-natalist, masculinist, anti-abortion, anti-contraception, anti-DEI) about departures from old-school patterns of women’s work and fertility.

Vance and company ignore the underlying issue: The government wants people to have children but provides few resources for families. Before birth control was widely available, that approach “worked” to maintain a high birthrate, while forcing many parents into low-wage jobs to feed unplanned children (their desperation ensuring their bosses’ profits).

But people now have a choice, and many delay having kids until they feel ready to provide for them, a point that arrives for some but not all as the affordability crisis worsens. Others choose not to become parents at all. As a result, the country’s fertility rate has declined 23 percent since 2007—most notably among women ages 15 to 19 (down 72 percent) and 20 to 24 (down 51 percent).

As a highly visible working woman sharing her own biological-clock story, AOC is addressing the concerns of millions about how to plan for a family while pursuing a career. Her videos walk viewers through the egg-freezing process, from injections to ultrasounds to egg retrieval, detailing the high costs and complex science of fertility preservation with humor (one episode in her kitchen begins “Today we’re making—eggs!”).

While her videos are casual and friendly, AOC’s job title (and national recognition) remind viewers that there’s more to this story. Her ability to delay starting a family has likely been crucial to the success of her political career, something that viewers all over the country can relate to. By sharing her fertility choices, she’s demonstrating that it’s possible for her generation to change expectations around forming a family—and to demand better support for it. One reel shows the congresswoman efficiently injecting her belly in the green room of ABC’s This Week, before cutting to a clip from her interview there: “Millennials are…starting to be decisive at the polls. And there is anger at being ignored, sidelined, having our economic futures mortgaged by the generations that came before us—on everything from the economy to climate.… We’re taking the reins.”

Unlike Vance, AOC addresses why Americans are starting families later: “Hello—we don’t provide healthcare, we don’t provide childcare, and…a lot of people struggle to find a suitable partner. No one gender’s fault: That is a collective issue.” Subsidized healthcare (including fertility treatments) and childcare would do much to mitigate the concerns of potential parents.

The retrosexual “tradwife” model also clashes with economic reality: If women all went home, the GDP would immediately fall by a third, followed by massive drops in productivity and consumer spending. Given that women are disproportionately represented in essential sectors like healthcare and education, the exit of even a small percentage of them from the workforce would be catastrophic.

AOC understands that many people don’t want kids at 26—they’d rather establish careers, see the world, and find a long-term partner first. That means more older parents, egg freezing, egg and sperm donation, adoption, and fostering—and more child-free adults long-term. She affirms that viewers “do not need anyone’s approval to lead your life and make the choices that make you happy.… You know, maybe in life you can’t have everything, but here’s the secret: You can have a hell of a lot.” She acknowledges that egg freezing isn’t foolproof, and there’s a real chance that she won’t end up having a child. But these videos offer a compelling vision of a world where women’s concerns and insights matter and where solutions can be found through civil dialogue rather than knee-jerk go-back-ism.

By joining civic life in significant numbers, women have reworked traditional systems that excluded them from policymaking. But it has taken time to get there due to a childcare catch-22: Because they lacked a childcare infrastructure, women couldn’t be elected in sufficient numbers to create one. Delaying family has allowed more of them to reach positions where they can begin building supportive systems for families in the future. They’ve done this precisely because, contrary to Vance, they do have a deep stake in this country and commitment to realizing its promise.

History suggests that it’s only when women like AOC reach critical mass in policymaking roles, potentially sacrificing some of their personal hopes, that we may finally create the national care infrastructure we’ve always needed and the thriving future we desire.