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With Apologies to B.D.

Who beat Roy Moore?

D.D. Guttenplan

December 13, 2017

Roy Moore is questioned by the media in Washington on October 31, 2017.(AP Photo / Tom Williams)

Who beat Judge Roy Moore, Why an’ what’s the reason for?

“I did, ” says The Washington Post, “Was our reporting hurt him the most. He groped Leigh Corfman; she was just 14. And at the mall he was often seen Hanging around with girls too young to drive, or drink, or vote. But not too young to make a note, of what he’d done. No one would’ve believed the women, then. We know better now, thanks in part to them.”

“Was us, ” says Alabama’s blacks, Whose votes hold tight democracy’s cracks. For too long we’ve been taken for granted, This time we knew it really mattered, For Wesley, Robertson, Collins, and McNair. Their killers thought they’d got away, Till Doug Jones brought them Judgment Day. Selma to Montgomery to Birmingham, We’ve made those crackers say “God damn!”

Who beat Judge Roy Moore, Why an’ what’s the reason for?

“#MeToo,” say all the women rising, Hearts sickened by advertising, designed to make their dreams feel petty, Their futures’ just some man’s confetti. “We phone banked and texted on Rapid Resist, To bring down this pig, who won’t be missed.” Our sisters of color took the lead, Sending a message the country had better heed.

Who beat Judge Roy Moore, Why an’ what’s the reason for?

“Us too,” say the under-30s Roy Moore made #AllOfUs feel dirty. We always said that we’d turn out, If there was something to vote about. You Boomers and Gens Z, Y and X Owe Millennials serious respect. Now you see what our votes can do, Don’t count us out! Our work’s not through.”

Who beat Judge Roy Moore, Why an’ what’s the reason for?

“We helped too,” says the DNC, though they didn’t send much do-re-mi. Said they weren’t sure Doug Jones could win, As Biden and Booker campaigned for him. “Alabama is an incredibly tough state,” said the Daily Kos anticipating another loss. Democratic PACs kept their money invisible; Which isn’t the same as Indivisible.

Who beat Judge Roy Moore, Why an’ what’s the reason for?

“Not us, ” says Bannon, and President Trump, Who woke up Wednesday looking like chumps. “I wanted Luther Strange, you idiot!” Said the grabber in chief with the tiny digits. “I was Moore’s savior,” said Bannon. “It’s true. But that’s what I am paid to do. Don’t say ‘molester,’ don’t say ‘GOP disaster.’ You’re still president. And I’m still the Master.”

Who beat Judge Roy Moore, Why an’ what’s the reason for?

D.D. GuttenplanTwitterD.D. Guttenplan is editor of The Nation.


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