Herewith, The Nation introduces a new genre: hyperdoggerel.

The AMAZING McBLAINE Will Suspend his Campaign From the Apse of the CAPITOL DOME

For Seventy Hours While his Nemesis Glowers Onstage at OLE MISS, all alone!

He will HANG UPSIDE-DOWN Thus inverting the Frown Induced by Rasmussens and Gallups

(Though like any Magician He’ll first have his Beautician Bedizen his face like a Trollop’s).

He’ll he holding a GRAPH Of the Market’s COLLAPFF As it zig-a-zags DOWNWARD toward DOOM–

Which by Dint of this FLIPPING Will shortly be Skipping Skyward–Hey, Presto!–a BOOM!

Lest this Feat interfere With his TRICK OF THE YEAR– DISAPPEARING for Five Months or More

With NEVER A VOTE– He is fixing to Float Fifty feet from the Senate FLOOR!

His lovely Assistant, Though slightly resistant, Will be SAWED very neatly IN HALF–

Her UPPER part, you know, Will be sent back to JUNEAU, And as for the LOWER, don’t ask!

Why settle for Youtube? I’m talking to you, Rube: BE THERE, for crying out loud!

At the end of Day Three He’ll take as VP A Brave Volunteer from the Crowd!

If some Media Lib Tries to peddle the Fib That it’s all a Political STUNT,

Your Wrath please Restrain; Take a Tip from McBLAINE And Courteously call her a C**T!

UPDATE:

McBLAINE IS DEBATING! Imagine the RATINGS For all of the Networks that carry ’em!

Here’s why Interest has Surged: He’ll Debate while SUBMERGED In a Two-Thousand-Gallon AQUARIUM!