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Cheney’s Head: An Explanation

One mystery I've tried to disentangle: Why Cheney's head is always at an angle. He tries to come on straight, and yet I can't Help notice that his head is at a slant. When Cheney's questioned on the Sunday shows, The Voice of Reason is his favorite pose. He drones in monotones. He never smiles-- Explaining why some suspects don't need trials, Or why right now it simply stands to reason That criticizing Bush amounts to treason, Or which important precept it would spoil To know who wrote our policy on oil, Or why as CEO he wouldn't know What Halliburton's books were meant to show. And as he speaks I've kept a careful check On when his head's held crooked on his neck. The code is broken, after years of trying: He only cocks his head when he is lying.

Calvin Trillin

June 6, 2002

One mystery I’ve tried to disentangle: Why Cheney’s head is always at an angle. He tries to come on straight, and yet I can’t Help notice that his head is at a slant. When Cheney’s questioned on the Sunday shows, The Voice of Reason is his favorite pose. He drones in monotones. He never smiles– Explaining why some suspects don’t need trials, Or why right now it simply stands to reason That criticizing Bush amounts to treason, Or which important precept it would spoil To know who wrote our policy on oil, Or why as CEO he wouldn’t know What Halliburton’s books were meant to show. And as he speaks I’ve kept a careful check On when his head’s held crooked on his neck. The code is broken, after years of trying: He only cocks his head when he is lying.

Calvin TrillinCalvin Trillin is The Nation’s “deadline poet.”


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