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The Ballad of John Rocker, A Slur-Driven Man

(Sung to the tune of "The Ballad of John Henry")

Calvin Trillin

January 13, 2000

(Sung to the tune of “The Ballad of John Henry”)

John Rocker is a noisy bigot Who’s lacking just the hood and sheet. He said the Number Seven that Takes you out to Shea It’s full of folks you wouldn’t want to meet, no sir, It’s full of folks you wouldn’t want to meet.

He doesn’t like to be near Asians Or gays who look you in the eye. To John it doesn’t seem much like The good ol’ USA, ‘Cause rednecks are in very short supply. That’s right. Yes, rednecks are in very short supply.

So now they’re sending John for testing, To see if there’s some bug to blame. If not they’ll say John sure won’t do This sort of thing again, ‘Cause John will take a limo to the game. A stretch. Yes, John will take a limo to the game.

Calvin TrillinCalvin Trillin is The Nation’s “deadline poet.”


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