(Sung by Republican presidential candidates to the tune of “I Dream of Jeannie With the Light Brown Hair.”)

I dream of Sheldon with the bright orange hair. He need but beckon, and I’m quickly there. The views of Sheldon are OK by me. Always I agree, whatever they might be.

Many are the good things about him. I love each. Mostly, though, I love the way he does free speech. I dream of Sheldon with the bright orange hair. He need but beckon, and I’m quickly there.