Illustration by Robert Grossman

To the aliens who descended in a shower of light particles that assembled at last into shapes familiar from docudramas

tabloids at checkout stations and other reliable sources with the wide childlike eyes and face narrowing on its way to the chin

clean shaven hairless as a scalded chihuahua and given to wearing highnecked tunic shirts to conceal the absence of an Adam’s apple

yes you there hovering overhead with your brights on: I refuse to accept your credentials! Who do you think you are more alien than?

We have a man at the wheel down here who’s doing eighty-five in reverse He’s steering by the rearview mirror and pays no attention to Stop signs

Yield? Why on earth should he when God is his co-pilot and this is His country? Nothing alien is alien to us. You should get yourselves naturalized.