Scary New Year to liberals, and to all a good fright!
Marc Emory‘Twas the night before Congress on Capitol Hill. The right wing was gloating, the left wing looked ill.
Committee Chairs will be doled out by Saint John. This guy will be Speaker? You’re putting me on!
We voters were nestled all snug in our beds While pipe dreams of health reform danced in our heads
My wife in her nightgown whispered to me, “At least this one night remains politics-free,”
When on the House floor there arose such a clatter, I sprang to the press room to see what’s the matter.
“They’ve not been sworn in yet!” I yelled out so rash To dozens of lobbyists handing out cash.
“Is this not too soon to be stooping so low?” I asked as the Krugerrands tinkled below.
Then, what to my wondering eyes should appear? The new Congressional roster this year!
‘Twas quite a bit different from the roster last week I knew in an instant, I must take a peek.
More right-wing than Reagan, the new reps, they came When the count was complete, it was a new game:
Bye, Grayson, bye Murphy, Periello, Ortiz Up Boehner, up Cantor. Up Bachmann? (Oh, please!)
“Smack down those liberals, push their backs to the wall! “Now dash their hopes, dash their hopes, dash their hopes, all!”
“Before they can contemplate asking us why, “Tell them, ‘balanced budgets are pie in the sky!’ ”
So down to the House floor, the right wingers flew The Tea Party die-hards, and John Boehner, too.
And then, in the background, a woman said, “ooph!” It was Nancy Pelosi, wishing John would go *POOF*
As I stuck out my head, feet barely on ground To the rostrum came Boehner in one single bound
He grabbed the gavel from the hand of poor Nan, And held it up showing that he’s now the man.
He looked pleased like he’d just run a four minute mile, But let’s not go overboard, the man doesn’t smile.
His mouth remained set in its permanent frown As he told the House, “there’s a new Speaker in town.”
“The next time I quote from a book, I won’t gamble. “I’ll find out beforehand what’s in the Preamble!”
“I’ll fight for the Constitution each minute, “And some day I promise to learn what is in it!”
His voice finally started to take on some range Though his facial expression never did change
The glare in his eyes from his orange-brown head Soon gave me to know I had much to dread.
He said nothing further, but went straight to work, There were Democrats begging him, “don’t be a jerk!”
He gave them the finger, turned up his nose, Made one tiny gesture and his faction rose
He sprang to the caucus room, flushed with success To the Sergeant at Arms, he said, “keep out the press!”
But I heard him exclaim, ere he vanished inside, “I’ve got one thing to say, and I say it with pride:
“Cold tea and no health care, we promise this night. “Scary New Year to liberals, and to all a good fright!”
Marc EmoryBorn in Virginia 1952 to a Washington correspondent of a small upstate New York newspaper, Marc Emory grew up living and breathing the Washington political scene. He used to hang around the U.S. Senate Press gallery as a child watching his father chat with people like Hubert Humphrey, Jacob Javits and Everett Dirksen. His father, Alan S. Emory, was to become president of Washington's elite journalist organization, the Gridiron Club, and Marc knew many of his acquaintances, including Helen Thomas who remains a good personal friend to this day. It was at Gridiron that Alan Emory first introduced Marc to Bill Clinton and Al Gore. Marc spent a high school year abroad in Spain in 1968-1969 during the Franco era, and got his first look at the remnants of Fascism first hand. After graduating the University of Pennsylvania in 1974, he spent the summer of 1974 in what was then West Berlin, playing folk music in what was a very active folk club scene. At one club, he met his future wife, Elisabeth, a native of the far northwestern part of Germany. In 1975, he joined the predecessor of his current employer, Heritage Capital Corporation. As his wife did not wish to leave Germany, she said that if they were to stay together, Marc would have to move to Germany. His very flexible CEO said he should go ahead and try to establish some overseas divisions for the company, which he did, starting in 1979. He now heads heritage's offices in Germany, France; Holland and Switzerland, and now speaks German, Russian, French, Spanish, Italian, Catalan, Swedish and Dutch. This year marks his 35th year with Heritage. In 1977, his father joined the Gridiron Club of Washington. The highlight of their year is their big dinner and show every March, where they put political satirical texts to well-known songs. Marc was infected by his father's enthusiasm for this, and Alan Emory was one of the most prolific songwriters Gridiron ever had. When Marc was invited to join the yearly Renaissance Weekend gatherings every New Year's in South Carolina in 2000, he saw they had a similar program. Starting in 2001, he became an integral part of this program. Some Gridiron members attend Renaissance Weekend, and have liked some of Marc's songs well enough to use them in the Washington Gridiron shows for which his father was so well known. Marc also participates in The Freedom Toast, a musical political satire project out of Atlanta, which has produced numerous musical satire videos that can be seen on Youtube, including the famous "Home On The Range—Bush Version," that has been seen over 300,000 times, as well as the just-completed "Talking TSA Blues HD."